Sorry to keep going on

I posted this the other day

Hi everyone

I know I might sound daft but do we help our special cherubs or leave them to cope and grow? Our daughter is 10, she has autism and sensory processing disorder which I still don't know if they are separate or joint diagnosises. I've read books about spd therapy being needed daily but we can't get her to do it daily, she doesn't even understand why she needs it. I can't talk to her as she just doesn't want to talk about. She pushes herself to do things but then has upset after. Feel like after five years I still don't get it, should she be understanding it yet? Please help xxx

I really feel lost. She's fallen at school this week n hurt her knee badly, we are trying to be understanding but she's being very dramatic sorry I know that sounds nasty. It seems each time I explain to her why she's feeling a certain way it all becomes over the top. Is it true they can't lie and can they manipulate things? I don't mean to sound odd but I'm not getting it xx

Parents
  • Guess chances are that they don't cope and grow quite so well, especially coping. And a lot of damage done during childhood/teenage years keeps haunting you as an adult, quite badly so, and it has nasty consequences. So if there is help available, I'd think it's best to make use of it, as much as you can get. Hope there is some help for her and you.

  • Thank you hun, that's why I worry cause she needs to cope as an adult but it feels like she's not coping as a child. Your right I do need to help her. Thank you again xx

  • To wonder if she's trying to manipulate you is probably not going to be terribly helpful for either of you. Don't beat yourself up for having such thoughts, they are understandable, but perhaps try to accept them as a kind of a stress reaction you get rather than something worth spending a lot of energy on.

    I am able to lie to some extent, even if it's not very convincing, don't think I could fake being very upset though. I really doubt that this is what she is doing either, especially if she does it when she does actually really get hurt in some way (physically or mentally). Seems that's something that can make kids an easy target for bullies. Hope that won't happen, but it makes it even more important to try and get some support.

Reply
  • To wonder if she's trying to manipulate you is probably not going to be terribly helpful for either of you. Don't beat yourself up for having such thoughts, they are understandable, but perhaps try to accept them as a kind of a stress reaction you get rather than something worth spending a lot of energy on.

    I am able to lie to some extent, even if it's not very convincing, don't think I could fake being very upset though. I really doubt that this is what she is doing either, especially if she does it when she does actually really get hurt in some way (physically or mentally). Seems that's something that can make kids an easy target for bullies. Hope that won't happen, but it makes it even more important to try and get some support.

Children
  • Thank you, I knew I was thinking incorrectly. I think that we have had her usual school holiday anxiety this week n that makes her senses heightened so being injured has been worse then it would normally. Thank you for your help xx