Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all
I am new to this so please bear with me. I have always known that my son is a little different... but in a good way. He could be described as slightly shy or quietly confident and I have always been so proud that he knows his own mind and doesn't follow the crowd as such. He is six years old. He went to a day nursery from nine months old and no issues were raised there. He then started pre school and they started to pick up on his lack of social skills and that he played alongside other children rather than with them. They started to do work with him on talking in small groups and his confidence improved.
In his reception year at school the teacher said he was on her radar but no serious issues. Just that socially he was a little behind but was improving. She was a very experienced reception teacher who I have great respect for. Last year - year one, he had a very unsettled school year with part time teachers and several supply teachers. Overall he found it unsettling. Towards the end of the year the Senco teacher asked to meet with me. She raised various issues about lack of concentration in the afternoons, social skills, difficulty in changing clothes and lack of eye contact. I asked what she thought this was and she raised Aspergers. I already had an inkling myself but struggle to see where he may have a disability or where he just has a quirky personality. We have now been referred and are waiting on further tests.
My son has a spiky profile, he is very loving and empathetic, makes lovely eye contact once he is comfortable with the person, clever, funny and thoughtful. He does however have fixed interests, talks about trains/cars in great detail and often, lacks interest in playing with others unless they are playing his game, quite clumsy in the physical sense and doesn't like loud noises. He will often take himself off when playing in a group of friends and play on his own however we can then go to the park and he makes a new friend very confidently.
I am not sure what I am after from the forum, just examples and stories that other parents have about similar potentially high functioning children. I am deeply worried about how this will affect him as he grows up. I only want him to be happy and have positive relationships with others. So far he is a very happy boy and is not troubled by his differences.
Thanks
Hello, Im new here too, he sounds a lot like my son when he was little, only nothing was said to me to raise alarm as he had friends and kept up and was well behaved, just a bit quirky and not very sporty. Only now he is 19 have I become convinced that he had aspergers a it has become more apparent that he is different, I am now feeling guilty that I havent picked up on this before.
Why would you know? Stop beating yourself up for a situation where there is a very mixed response in health and education.
Start by reading the complete guide to autism spectrum disorders by Tony Attwood (available on Amazon), so you understand why your child may be ringing bells for concern. Find out about where your local ASD support groups are and what services are funded by your PCT and council.
Parents of kids with ASD need to be ready to advocate for them. Knowledge is power
Hi momofboys
i have just joined this page after a friend suggested and I totally feel for you.
my son is 3 and your story is very similar... it was his playgroup last year that noticed his social skills (and his love for trains also!) but I feel so lonely not knowing what is happening, we took him to a pead last month who told me it could be something (but never said what) and we have done a blood test to look at his genes.... but that's all we know,
he started main stream nursery last week with no support despite the playgroup giving a detailed handover to them (he had 1-2-1 at playgroup but not in new nursery?) he currently isn't potty trained as he doesn't understand it and gets really confused which means I have to go to nursery if he needs the toilet, he then gets confused why I am there.
i just don't know where to get the support or answers and I just feel so terrible like a bad parent almost for not knowing what is happening
Thanks so much for your reply. I will have a good look at the links and see where we go from here
Hi Momofboys,
No matter what the potential diagnosis it sounds as though your son is doing great, which is wonderful. Whilst you're waiting on further tests you might want to look at the relevant pages on the NAS website, if you haven't already. The Aspergers page may be useful to you and gives links to the Too Much Information campaign which might be a helpful insight: http://www.autism.org.uk/about/what-is/asperger.aspx
Also in order to understand the process of diagnosis, the following pages can be helpful:
http://www.autism.org.uk/about/diagnosis/children.aspx
Additionally you may find some community members may share some of their personal experiences which might be useful to you.
Wishing you and your family well through this process.
Heather - Mod