Published on 12, July, 2020
I just can't. I wish she wasn't autistic, she is 9 and was diagnosed a couple of months ago. I read some of the posts on here in tears because all you parents are so wonderful...I must be a terrible mother if I can't love her, but she is no good at being a daughter.
I have 3 other children who are all beautiful and neurotypical and don't cause me any trouble, and I look at them with such pride, yet I can't look at my autistic daughter with pride at all. I try and do my best for her but it wears me down, I spend most of my life in tears over her behaviour and I just don't know what to do. Children are meant to bring you joy and she does not bring me joy.
This is ruining my life, my husband wants me to see a doctor and discuss going onto antidepressants or to seek counselling, but neither of those things can change my daughter.
Please tell me I'm not alone in this feeling.
No. Just no.
How does this woman think that putting this on a forum largely used by actually Autistic people will make us feel? And they say that we lack empathy!
I'm a primary school teacher - and an Autistic adult - and if a parent came to me going on like this, I think I'd inform safeguarding, for their sake and the child's.
As others have said, your children don't owe you anything, but you owe them everything. You made the decision to bring up kids. Having children is a privilege - it's a struggle, I don't deny that, but it's first and foremost a privilege. There are people desperate to become parents who can't for a multitude of reasons. Children are human beings, not toys - they aren't there for your entertainment or your gain. If your child has needs, you need to meet them. If your child has challenges, you need to help them face those challenges. If you can't, get support, get educated. Too much is at stake. Grow up and do what's best for your child. No one said it would be easy.
I'm sure I'll be told that I'm nasty as I was with a somewhat similar post a few months back, but I am tired of sugar coating. This isn't 'brave'. This is ableism towards a child, plain and simple.
I know people who can’t become parents and long to. I know they would love guide and nuture any child neurodiverse or neurotypical just for who they are.