Published on 12, July, 2020
I just can't. I wish she wasn't autistic, she is 9 and was diagnosed a couple of months ago. I read some of the posts on here in tears because all you parents are so wonderful...I must be a terrible mother if I can't love her, but she is no good at being a daughter.
I have 3 other children who are all beautiful and neurotypical and don't cause me any trouble, and I look at them with such pride, yet I can't look at my autistic daughter with pride at all. I try and do my best for her but it wears me down, I spend most of my life in tears over her behaviour and I just don't know what to do. Children are meant to bring you joy and she does not bring me joy.
This is ruining my life, my husband wants me to see a doctor and discuss going onto antidepressants or to seek counselling, but neither of those things can change my daughter.
Please tell me I'm not alone in this feeling.
No I hate despise my son. He had ASD ADHD CHALLENGING BEHAVIOUR NON VERBAL I give that child everything. And all I get is punched kicked. Slapped meltdowns house trashed. I look at all the other normal children with pride then I look at him and feel angry stressed unhappy sad.no love what's so ever. I haven't drank alcohol for 3 years now as if I do have 1 drink I will drink myself to death. I hate getting up wish I was dead every damn day. I hate my life like I hate my son.
It may seem that your Son is deliberately disrespecting you and hurting you and if another child who wasn’t mine lashed out at me I would think horrible little brat! but with your own child you can try to work out why they lash out. You get to know their triggers then hopefully work out strategies to help them or ask for help. Often they just want to be understood and loved and this is their way of asking for it, I hope you got the help you need for you and your Son
Hi NAS73298, I'm really sorry to hear that you're struggling at the moment. You may find it useful to contact our Parent to Parent service, which offers emotional support and can direct you to appropriate services for information and advice. This service is confidential and run by trained parent volunteers who are all parents themselves of a child or adult with autism.
You contact the team on 0808 800 4106. Please leave a message and the team will call you back as soon as possible at a time that suits you, including evenings and weekends. Alternatively you can use contact the team via web form: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/parent-to-parent
I hope this helps.
Best wishes,
Anna Mod