Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, hoping to get some views and experiences from other parents of children with ASD. Our little girl is now 2 yrs 2 months old. Officially, she is pre-diagnosis and is due for her Multi-disciplinary Assessment later this year. We have had meetings with the Paediatrician, and all things point towards an ASD diagnosis, which we are prepared for.
Obviously, she is still very young, but we feel it would help us to get the experiences and views of other parents who've already experienced similar to us.
She currently has no words, so no coherent speech. She makes 2-3 repetitive noises, some constantly for long periods. She doesn't really ever mimic us, sometimes when we say "bye" to her, we'll get the occasional "bah" noise, but not the actual word. She doesn't make any attempt to talk to us, and her non-verbal communication isn't good either, i.e. she has never really pointed for anything she wants. She doesn't usually respond to her name, maybe 2-3 times out of 10. She always lacked eye contact as a baby, this has improved slightly but I would guess not to the point of being considered normal. She has good fine motor skills. She was a late walker (18/19 months), she had 'cruised' for a very long time before letting go to walk. She never crawled, and always hated it on her tummy as a baby. Her play seems relatively age-appropriate, and there is no doubting she is intelligent - but very much lacking in social engagement and interaction, which we imagine are stereotypical traits within ASD.
We just wondered, if you're the parent(s) of a child with ASD (or even a now grown-up child), what experiences did you have with speech and language delay (if any)? We've heard stories of some children with ASD not talking until they were 4-5 years old. We haven't heard that first-hand too many times, so would be good to hear from parents themselves.
If your child did have speech/language delay, what things did you do to help/do you feel could help? (i.e. we've tried Makaton, but it just doesn't work with her at this stage). We've done a 'Let's Get Talking' module via the NHS, but it was more about forming strategies for us to encourage speech, but our daughter doesn't seem ready to talk just yet anyway.
As and when your child did start to talk, did they 'catch-up' with their peers, to some degree? Appreciate everyone with an ASD diagnosis is different, but any experiences you can share would be reassuring for us.
Many thanks in advance!
Hi... I can give you too 3 experiences all very different.
I have 4 daughters. 3 diagnosed ASD.
One spoke probably fairly typically around the right sort of age as ecpected but didnt have non verbal communications. She spoke with abrupt tones however and misunderstands verbal communication often not picking up on social cues. At age 14 nearly 15 this has not changed much though she has learned painstakingly ways to try and fit in and seemimly manage in social situations. To which she now avoids as it's too difficult... my second daughter spome not a word until she was 7. No eye contact at all until about 9. She now talks endlessly. ....excessively infact! She has some spewch difficulties and limitations which unfortunately the nhs do not recognise as enough to help her as she was discharged some years ago as was said to be borderline within limits and now just left. But her range of vocabularlry and such is limited and immature despite our teaching and she over uses incorrect "big words" once she hears them out of context etc but she has a voice and thats amazing from where she was. She also sings ...on stage... with a voice that is beautiful!! Her pronouncation and articulation only thing holding her back at present.
Then my 3rd daughter was coherently conversing to a level above expectations of a 3 yr old by age 18months.....then at 3 yr old went selectively mute which she as remained since ....now at age 10 her speech and non verbal communication is very limited and often days fo by where no to lottle engagement at all.
So what i would say is take each day as it comes. Enjoy what you have today, encourage what you can for tomorrow and be thankful what you had yesterday. Each if my girls communication abilities have changed . Theu all have the same parenting. They all have strategies and support. The variable is their individual ASD..... it is different for them all. As parents all we can do encourage and promote good means of doing so.... try visual tools such as board maker /PECS whilst always using verbal along with to encourage, this will help with routine and change too.
I always asked my girls to look at me in a calm voice when i want to speak to them first...they dont have too....but its good practice. And so on.
Also engaging with speach therapy and other services.
Hope this helps and doesn't confuse you further. Incidently my 4th daughter is neurotypical and her speach and communication skills developed differently again. She spoke and used good non verbal skills by an early age and has developed within typical guidelines to this point, now turning 8 in a couple of weeks time and picks up well on inferencing and non verbal cues.
Good luck. Xxx