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Child choosing to not comply in school

happylilgirl

Hi

After a number of changes in class which led to a complete crisis where my child locked hinslef in a room at school.  My child refused to accept the changes and refused to participate. It was suggested that his refusal was somehow due to me. As I had advocated on his behavlf and complained about the changes.

The rsposnse I got was he has magaged other changes, however I beg to differ as I got the fall out from these.

I just want to know if this type of behaviour is common in children with autism ? Or is non compliance and no meltdown but grumpy behaviour for days/ weeks after not common? He has slowly managed to deal with some of the changes, but has stated it depends on how they are pitched at him. 

Thanks in advance

  • I hear everyone of you, thank you for replying.

    Totally agree with copring with changes are due to how it is pitched and who by.

    Hate being told they have to treat the same as in child has to fit in rather than them make acomodations.

    Also when they suggest that child is doing fine when in meetings, which are set up due to them complaining that they cant manage. Argh. Im sure its just them refusing to accept any obligation as surely anyone whos educated cannot really believe they are really doing fine.

    thanks again

  • Former Member
    Former Member

    Although we have a new diagnosis we've known for years change only works for SD16 if it's correctly pitched.

    Believing meltdowns need to be florid and involve outward expression harms the kids who present differently. It takes MASSIVE amounts of stress for our SD16 to meltdown, her usual trick is to vanish into her imagination.

    We get regular "help SD16 understand X,Y & Z" emails from the school. We always check her side of things now.  A lot of times they are assuming that a lack of "bad" behaviour means "good" behaviour, and more often than not she's just not realised she was meant to do something.

    We wish she was willing to change school - because she's  not overt in her problems no one seems to remember she's not an NT.

  • Hi, I had real trouble with my son at primary school where the teachers did not seem to spot the signs that something was wrong. His teacher said he was doing really well with reading but I told her he could hardly read at all so I told her to cover the picture and then ask him to read. Couldn't get a damn thing, he had been using the pictures to guess the text! After this his teacher asked to see us and told us he needed to come to school 15 minutes early to allow him time to put away his coat and bag etc because it held the class back. He was distraught because he wanted to go in with everyone else so we persuaded the school to have an LSA to help and assess him. At this point he was refusing to comply with school staff, hiding from them or following me back out of school. that led to the school having to restrain him until I had left on a number of occassions. Shortly after, the LSA wrote a report stating 'Lucas needs adult support with ALL aspects of school'. That's when we pushed for a diagnosis. The school were great and helped us push it through because they were fond of him and with support he was making great headway. It took nearly two years but what a difference to see him smiling on the way to school! Unfortunately we are now back to square one because he is not severe enough to get support at secondary school and he is being set up to fail his exams. I am really worried because he is going through puberty and his angry side is coming back out due to frustration with the workload. There could be trouble ahead.

  • HI,

    Isnt it funny how schools like to blame the parents first!!! and say oh we dont have any of this behaviour or see any of that at school.

    No thats because they are trying to be socially accepted and once home let it out where they know that reguardless of what they say or do you will love them and be there for them. Home is the safe enviroment. (this is called the coke a cola effect)

    when i sought advice about the behaviour (school) side of things i was told that the behaviour is a symptom due to lack of support/overload or something. 

    hopes this helps