Published on 12, July, 2020
my son will be 4 in march, hes autistic , was diagnoised last year, their was a incident that happened at nursery, were my son pulled the teachers hair, then the following day he refused to get dressed, this has been going on now for 5mths, he will not even go out side, he will stay in the one room all day, and now he refusing to get a bath, or have his hair washed or even brush his teeth, ive been having proffesoial help 3 times a week for 4mths, to top things off hes loosing skills aswell, hes been offered a place in a special school. i cant get him their he wont get dressed, p lease im very desprate for help
Unfortunately, there is no support, not that I know of. I'm on long term sick at the moment from work because I just can't get there. Although my girl is 12 there's no way I could leave her home alone.
I've also got the added pressure of Educational Welfare breathing down my neck. If I don't get her into school there's a possibility that I may end up in court, but what can you do?
I have another friend who has the same problem with her daughter who is 15, they sent someone out from school in the mornings to try and make her daughter dress. They gave up after 3 days!!
Forums like this are soooooo important for people in our situation, as it is isolating, frustrating and pretty depressing at times.
I also find it kind of degrading, I'm the parent right? Why can't I control my child? It's just not going to happen.
It must be really difficult for you, especially being in a village. I'm lucky because I have a sister who lives nearby. Her daughter also has ASD so she understands completely.
There's a great Aspergers Awareness group on facebook, which is really busy in the evenings. They discuss all sorts of issues, you might find that useful.
I have posted details of the law regarding school attendance which many EWOs or their managers do not always follow. Schools can issue Fixed Penalty Notices - these can be appealed. Most parents do not have the time, energy or sometimes the money to get really good legal advice, so bad practice goes unchallenged.
As an EWO I was being pushed by management to get school attendance up. Ofsted was obsessed with statistics. Persistence absence was redefined to include authorised absence (medical appointments, sickness, exceptional circumstances) and not just "truancy". Heads fearful of bad Ofsted reports put pressure on the LEA councillors, Director of Education etc. to "do something". Sewage flows downhill. EWOs were required to use powers of prosecution so they could be seen to be "doing something". In many cases the "something" should actually have been the school addressing SEND, the local authority funding EHCPs, the NHS diagnosing neurodivergent students ... we all know what should be done. But without enough money, trained staff etc. the easy option was to persecute - sorry, prosecute - the parents. EWOs no longer have to have graduate-level training - the team I was an exception in that we had social workers, youth workers, counsellors and others who were trained and qualified to do casework.Then we were made redundant when children's service had to find £1m cuts.
Legally, the minimum training for EWOs is at the same level as a TA or traffic warden. Many authorities have outsourced their attendance services. Officially there are no targets, but unofficially, if the contractor does not issue FPNs or prosecutions, they may lose the contract. Even where the EW service is in house, many authorities have cut back on the number of graduate staff and recruited cheaper NVQ-qualified staff who do minimum casework but just process paper.