Discipline and boundaries

Hiya, I'm 17 and recently diagnosed with Aspergers. I currently attend 6th form at my former high school (year 13) as it was less of a change hence why I avoided college.

I'm just wondering if your sons teachers know about his condition? Before I got diagnosed teachers saw fit to just give me tons of homework which I'd then panic over because in my mind I had to get it all done that night, or worse, not make the homewok specific enough. Now, they know to 'back off' in that respect and give me specialised one to one assignments once they're done addressing the rest of the class, whether its just explaining what to do in simpler terms or asking if I had any trouble understanding anything they talked about in lesson.

Teasing and winding up a.k.a bullying is pretty much gauranteed I'm afraid. As a girl I can expect snide comments about my clothes or hairstyle (short hair, black hoodies and dragon t-shirts: comfy, practical, very me ) from the 'normals' even though I have a few friends. But from what I've noticed with the boys in my year group is that they are:

1) Loud

2) Rude

3) Are prone to physical gestures such as shoving and poking

4) Most likely in groups of 3 or 4 who will all participate in cat calling/making fun of an individual.

Most of the time this is all done in good humour but for people like me who struggle to understand the difference between a joke, sarcasm and a statement its easy to get offended.

In terms of family, I have many younger cousins, and I find that once they reach a certain age (5+) I expect them to act how I would behave at the time so generally treat them as equals, and get extremely annoyed when they don't live up to these expectations. Take two people with a short attention span and add conflict over a wanted object= chaos. If the adults didn't have a rota in place for the computer I'd probably be getting in fights with them all all the time.

Growing up, there's one phrase my parents always used on me.

"How would you like it if .......?"

By making me think of how I'd like being treated in the manner I treat others forces me to gain a rough idea of how others feel. Like my tone, if someone spoke loudly over me while I was trying to speak I wouldn't like, therefore, I should assume other people don't like it either.

Also, in terms of food anything too 'extreme' would immediately send me running for the hills. I avoid chili like the plague, and at meals I usually have to make my own meal which teaches me some form of independance, because I don't like what everyone else eats.

In general its always hard to pick up on how 'normals' act or to develop a desire to behave in the same way. 'Normals' often scare me because of their (in my opinion) misguided values of things like games or make up and money over their own family and most of the time come across as stupid because most of them hardly consider things beyond their next social activity.

I found that by taking an observational approach it can make things seem more fun, e.g. pretending to be David Attenborough while watching a pack of females preen themselves in front of a mirror or a group of males wrestling to demonstrate their strength. Now, while I don't do any of that, simply knowing thats how others behave makes me more aware of how to approach them or mimic the essential behaviours as and when I need to.

Hope things work out for you

Hiya, I'm 17 and recently diagnosed with Aspergers. I currently attend 6th form at my former high school (year 13) as it was less of a change hence why I avoided college.

I'm just wondering if your sons teachers know about his condition? Before I got diagnosed teachers saw fit to just give me tons of homework which I'd then panic over because in my mind I had to get it all done that night, or worse, not make the homewok specific enough. Now, they know to 'back off' in that respect and give me specialised one to one assignments once they're done addressing the rest of the class, whether its just explaining what to do in simpler terms or asking if I had any trouble understanding anything they talked about in lesson.

Teasing and winding up a.k.a bullying is pretty much gauranteed I'm afraid. As a girl I can expect snide comments about my clothes or hairstyle (short hair, black hoodies and dragon t-shirts: comfy, practical, very me ) from the 'normals' even though I have a few friends. But from what I've noticed with the boys in my year group is that they are:

1) Loud

2) Rude

3) Are prone to physical gestures such as shoving and poking

4) Most likely in groups of 3 or 4 who will all participate in cat calling/making fun of an individual.

Most of the time this is all done in good humour but for people like me who struggle to understand the difference between a joke, sarcasm and a statement its easy to get offended.

In terms of family, I have many younger cousins, and I find that once they reach a certain age (5+) I expect them to act how I would behave at the time so generally treat them as equals, and get extremely annoyed when they don't live up to these expectations. Take two people with a short attention span and add conflict over a wanted object= chaos. If the adults didn't have a rota in place for the computer I'd probably be getting in fights with them all all the time.

Growing up, there's one phrase my parents always used on me.

"How would you like it if .......?"

By making me think of how I'd like being treated in the manner I treat others forces me to gain a rough idea of how others feel. Like my tone, if someone spoke loudly over me while I was trying to speak I wouldn't like, therefore, I should assume other people don't like it either.

Also, in terms of food anything too 'extreme' would immediately send me running for the hills. I avoid chili like the plague, and at meals I usually have to make my own meal which teaches me some form of independance, because I don't like what everyone else eats.

In general its always hard to pick up on how 'normals' act or to develop a desire to behave in the same way. 'Normals' often scare me because of their (in my opinion) misguided values of things like games or make up and money over their own family and most of the time come across as stupid because most of them hardly consider things beyond their next social activity.

I found that by taking an observational approach it can make things seem more fun, e.g. pretending to be David Attenborough while watching a pack of females preen themselves in front of a mirror or a group of males wrestling to demonstrate their strength. Now, while I don't do any of that, simply knowing thats how others behave makes me more aware of how to approach them or mimic the essential behaviours as and when I need to.

Hope things work out for you