Daughter asd sleep and behaviour problems help !!!

Hi,

  Do try some of the other things I mentioned on my list. You don't have to follow them to the letter, tweak and adapt them to suit your child. Once you've exhausted all other options, ask your GP for a refferal to a sleep specialist, they maybe able to give more mechanical advice or even adjust meds etc.

One of my boys get night terrors. We were told he would grow out of them. He never has. We've had to adapt around his sleep issues to accommodate him.

Does your daughter say why she's scared? If she has auditory issues you may find my 'Sound/Noise' section useful.

Coogy

Thank u for your replies. With regards to my partner he refuses to read up on asd and prefers to stick to his own opinions of my daughter which I find ignorant and very hurtful. I have decorated her room tried reward charts gave her my clothes tried making her bedclothes heavy nothing works at all. She wakes every hour to hour and a half the only way she will stay in her room is If she was shut in there which I simply can't do. My partner says I should shut her door and let her get on with it till morning. I must admit out of desperation and pressure I did do that once and she was so distraught she wet herself and knocked on her door all night screaming. I vowed I would never ever do that again to her

Hi again - I hope the advice from the posters is helpful.  I've posted again because I meant to mention that it's not really a good idea to get her into the habit of being in the same room as you.  It could cause problems for all concerned.  When my son was little I was so tired I gave in +let him sleep with me.  We were a single parent family.  It took me months to get him out of the habit.  I did it by being consistent with him + also decorating his room with paper etc that really appealed to him.  I found Coogybear's comment about putting a tee shirt around a hot water bottle to help her children very imaginative.  I hope it works for your daughter.   Keep in touch.

Hello Blueangel76,

   I agree with crystal12, You have not done anything wrong.

Can I just add, when I had issues with my sons sleeping, I would often take off the t-shirt I'd worn that day and cover a hotwater bottle with it, for my sons to sleep on or next to. The comfort for one of my sons was immediate, as he has sensory smell issues and found comfort in sleeping with my scent near him. This gave them the sense that I was close and gave me; on occaision, some much needed sleep. Give it a go and see if it helps. Additionally, you may wish to try some of the other things I've tried on this list, I gave to someone last week.

community.autism.org.uk/.../31578

Perhaps you could get your partner to watch a video on ASD, so that he better understands whats involved for someone on the spectrum. This was designed to educate teachers, but I share it a lot.

www.youtube.com/watch

Well done on getting a diagnosis. I hope things move in a positive direction for you.

Coogybear X

Agree with Crystal on this one. Don't back down - if partner instinctively thinks that she needs more discipline then he is simply wrong. (It does depend what he means by discipline though) What she needs is consistency and quiet and calm in the house. I wish that I (father of 2 boys) had learnt to say no or yes and then follow it through - sometimes this means saying yes when you want to say no but are too tired to follow through!

I would, however, resist the idea of letting her into your room - this will be very hard to reverse and she may get confused because you will seem, to her, to suddenly change your mind about the rules of where she can sleep.

It may be that she is disturbed by something (e.g. new partner?). Is anything upsetting her?

Hi .  There a lots of posts on here in a similar vein to yours so do have a look + be reassured that you are not doing anything wrong with regard to your daughter's upbringing.  It sounds like your partner doesn't want to accept that she is autistic + tht she needs to be parented in a different way to some extent because of that.  You must be worn out with lack of sleep + arguing over child rearing.  In the end you are her mother + you know best.  Don't back down.  His attitude to parenting her will make her behaviour/anxiety worse.  Routine is v important, daytime, evening + bedtime.  You could do pecs so she knows what's happening next during the day so her anxiety might lessen.  Knowing well in advance when poss helps.  Also you + your partner need the same parenting style or she'll just get confused/anxious etc.  He really needs to understand that.  Is he open to reading about autism, listening to professionals about it?  How is she doing at school - is she getting any support there + how good are the school in relation to her autism?  I'm sure others will be along soon to comment.  Have faith in yourself, don't be side-tracked by people who don't understand.