Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, sorry seem to be posting lots, am just trying to get as much help as I can.
My son is 15 but will not shower or wash his hair. He's not yet diagnosed, but we strongly suspct aspergers. It explains the keeeping clean aspect as he is just not aware that he needs to!
I've realised that he finds the shower difficult, I think the noises and sensation are painful, so he generally has more success if he has a bath. I have to wash his hair for him as a compromise on the days when he won't have a bath.
Usually he will do his hair because of peer pressure, or if he is doing something social and I can gently suggest that it would be good to do it.
He hasn't had a bath since a week last Wednesday (!), fortunately he doesn't suffer from BO but yesterday he did smell of wee so I said he needed a bath this morning. He looked so upset when I told him. How do I tell him, encourage him to bathe without him being sad and cross?
Everynight I have to tell him to do his teeth and have a wash.
Every moring I have to brush his hair - if he'll let me (and thank goodness for dry shampoo!), otherwise he goes to school like a scarecrow.
Any ideas please?
Thank you! :)
Being in bed feels safe and secure. It is so hard to get out and face the world some days.
Hi, Thanks for your replies.
I think it is a bit to do with the sensations, which is why a bath is generally more successful, but probably more to do with the fact he would rather do something else.
He has actually had a bath this morning!! He is spending the day at school helping with the tech side of a show and he knew he needed to have one.
He wouldn't get up for ages (eventually he admitted he was very nervous), and he only goes at one speed so we were 20 minutes later setting off than planned, but at least he's clean - hooray!!
Weekends and holidays, are generally more successful, and during the day is more successful, so school days are really hard. (I've never really thought about the impact of the time of day)
I've suggested having 'a good wash' during the week and maybe we'll have weekend baths for now, a mid week hair wash and hope he gets into a pattern.
Thanks guys!
Did you tell him that he smelt of wee or did you gently suggest that it was time for a bath? It is possible that, although he was upset at the time, it might shock him into action.
I remember hating haircuts and hair washing as a child. I remember the soap getting in my eyes and up my nose. I always keep a towel handy for removing soap before it can get in my eyes. One thing I have recently realised is that shampoo with nice smells etc can actually irritate my scalp - apple shampoo is the worst for this for me - it seems I react to many common fruits and vegetables in my diet too. (pollen fruit syndrome seems to match my symptoms)
Hi Nellie, I agree, he does need to get a hygeine routine, if only to make sure he does not get bullied.
Apart from sensitivity in relation to sounds and water, it can be uncomfortable if it feels cold when he gets out of the bath or shower. The contrast in temperature can be unpleasant. You could suggest a different time of day, when the bathroom is really warm.
The other issue could be that it is tedious and time consuming and he would rather be doing something else.
There are so many posible reasons. Does he give some clue in his excuses and reason for refusal.