Sleep Settling Issue - Now I am desperate. What else can I try?

I also just wanted.to.say I.have also had success with the above strategy from thesqrl for my eldest son who has aspergers. He doesn't have delays or.behavioural problems as such so breathing in.and out big deep breaths helped and kept him calm.and still we used this stragey for about 4 years every night. Now 8 gets him self to.sleep x But my previous post on using the melatonin is for my youngest. 

Not got any advice on where to get researched info I.was at same point when.my son was 2.5 years me and his dad almost split it was horrific never fell to sleep till gone 12 then back up by 3/4 was so.stressful. Now almost 4 he has been on melatonin sInce 2.5 years and he now falls to sleep.very quickly half hour usually,  I was very worries scared and felt awful for giving him.it initially but there nothing else worked I tried everything! And I am so glad I dId, he can now fall to sleep, his sleep is still awful mind he wakes up and is down stairs takes hours usually another melatonin to.get him back.to.sleep. He too has sensory problems and extreme  behaviour problems. Also global development delay. And if course autism xx 

Just thought I.would post to say I.now can put hI'm down at decent time.and he isn't in bed feeling very tired and aggy but unable.to.switch off xx stacey I 

Our son has always struggled to stay still and calm enough to go to sleep. Recently we've changed our routine so we do everything in a different room. So we get into pyjamas, brush teeth, read/listen to stories in another room. We also do some stretching exercises which help to calm by staying in position for a few seconds and repeating. This can settle the breathing down. Sometimes I may play relaxing piano music in the background.

Once settled, it's toilet then straight into bed with lights out. The idea is that bed is for sleeping - you need to train your mind that bed is only for sleeping and not for all the other bedtime routine stuff which can be quite energetic and (sometimes) fraught!

We ask him to try to rest calmly, breath deeply, feel his eyes get heavy etc. and leave him for 10mins or so. If he's struggling we will go back in and breath with him for a time to help him out.

He's aware that this is something he struggles with, but rather than blame or get angry with him, we're trying to give him some tools to make sleep easier. So far it's working better than we could have dreamt!

Hope this helps!

PieceofPie said:

Yes we tell stories and I sing.

This sounds rather entertaining and fun! Bedtime is when the activity and fun has to be reduced and replaced with quiet inactivity. Perhaps you could drop the singing and just tell quiet stories. Otherwise I agree with Marjorie, just make it as quiet and boring as you can without removing your reassuring presence too quickly.

My daughter first slept through the night at four years old and we had similar issues settling her. 

For her first year, we used phenergan, an antihistamine, to get her to sleep 8 hours. Eventually, we did the bed time routine, then stayed silently, when posible, gradually less and less. 

I started by holding her untill she slept, then put her down.

Then I held her in her cot until she slept. Back breaking.

Then I sat beside the cot and rubbed her back.

Next I sat with my hands resting on her, untill she slept. Then one hand.

Then just sat next to her.

I gradually moved the chair nearer to the door, and eventually I waited on the landing.

All of the above I did without speaking as far as possible. It took many months and hours of time, but we got there. The idea was, that after the routine, she was expected to sleep, and I would not engage with her, just be there, so that she was not alone.

We did this slowly, and had to go back a step, sometimes, if she was unwell, upset etc. I followed the same policy of silent presence, if she woke in the night. You may already have tried this, but I thought I would offer it as a sugestion, just in case. Good luck

I have also posted an item on food intollerances which may be relavant to you, headed "sleep and restlessness".

Hi, thanks Marjorie. Yes we tell stories and I sing. It's been part of the bedtime routine for some time. This is done in a quiet, dark bedroom. We really have tried all the easy, obvious things. I went to a sleep seminar held by a local charity and it was full of things we had researched and tried. There was nothing they could suggest that we hadn't tried...but it wasn't specifically for asd children so was wondering what else to try that is more attuned at asd children than parents who find reinforcing a sensible bedtime routine difficult. We have, yesterday, found one thing that worked getting him to sleep in 5 minutes: a sensory therapy session that lasted one and half hours...but the session is obviously not practical on a daily basis...The OT is writing to us with some 'try at home' sensory suggestions. I think that is our last thing to try. It goes without saying that both my husband and I want the melatonin supplement to be a last resort. 

You don't mention what is included in the bed time routine, but we read to our children from a very young age. Quite long stories, if wide awake. If they lie down, and the light is low, they relax and a story is distracting. You may already do this, but it worked with my kids. The other thing we did was to sing. I knew every verse of the skye boat song when mine were small. It doesn't matter much what you sing, as long as it is quiet and soothing. Lullabyes are as old as the hills.

Drugs need to be the last resort, I am oversensitive to drugs and react to otheringredients, it is a danger area to watch out for.

Good luck, sleep problems seriously stretch your patience and stamina.

How about...

researchautism.net/.../sleep-review

ResearchAutism is a reputable site - I believe that there is a connection between them and NAS

Another page from their site might be interesting to you

researchautism.net/.../our-evaluations-interventions