Sleep Settling Issue - Now I am desperate. What else can I try?

Hi,

I know there is another thread on sleep issues at the moment, but didn't want to hijack the thread where someone else is asking for advice. I am however seriously desperate for advice on anything else I can try to help my son sleep.

My son is now 2yrs11 months and it takes him up to 3 hours to settle to sleep now. He is OBVIOUSLY tired, rubbing his eyes, yawning, etc., but seems unable to settle/switch off. He is suffering from this - he gets upset and frustrated and the days it takes him longest to settle, the next days are the worst in terms of behaviours and sensory issues. We have tried everything I can think of in terms of changes to the room/lighting/bedding/temperature/bedtime routine (obviously all done carefully and gradually to avoid confusion or distress)... I have attended seminars on sleep problems and found I have tried all the 'usual' stuff. The only thing we haven't tried in Melatonin and I want to be happy that a) we have tried all reasonable other options before we consider the medication, and b) that I have researched the supplements properly.

I have 2 questions.

1) What else can we try to help him - as it is causing him distress to struggle to sleep so much when he is tired I can't just 'leave it' as it is.

2) What reliable sources can I look at to research the use of Melatonin in young children? I don't want to 'medicate' my son if I can avoid it, but I also think we need to consider the benefits versus any downsides. I don't want to read any old quack's view, or any knee-jerk reactions, but rather a measured scientific/medical view.

I would be grateful for any views.

PoP

Parents
  • My daughter first slept through the night at four years old and we had similar issues settling her. 

    For her first year, we used phenergan, an antihistamine, to get her to sleep 8 hours. Eventually, we did the bed time routine, then stayed silently, when posible, gradually less and less. 

    I started by holding her untill she slept, then put her down.

    Then I held her in her cot until she slept. Back breaking.

    Then I sat beside the cot and rubbed her back.

    Next I sat with my hands resting on her, untill she slept. Then one hand.

    Then just sat next to her.

    I gradually moved the chair nearer to the door, and eventually I waited on the landing.

    All of the above I did without speaking as far as possible. It took many months and hours of time, but we got there. The idea was, that after the routine, she was expected to sleep, and I would not engage with her, just be there, so that she was not alone.

    We did this slowly, and had to go back a step, sometimes, if she was unwell, upset etc. I followed the same policy of silent presence, if she woke in the night. You may already have tried this, but I thought I would offer it as a sugestion, just in case. Good luck

    I have also posted an item on food intollerances which may be relavant to you, headed "sleep and restlessness".

Reply
  • My daughter first slept through the night at four years old and we had similar issues settling her. 

    For her first year, we used phenergan, an antihistamine, to get her to sleep 8 hours. Eventually, we did the bed time routine, then stayed silently, when posible, gradually less and less. 

    I started by holding her untill she slept, then put her down.

    Then I held her in her cot until she slept. Back breaking.

    Then I sat beside the cot and rubbed her back.

    Next I sat with my hands resting on her, untill she slept. Then one hand.

    Then just sat next to her.

    I gradually moved the chair nearer to the door, and eventually I waited on the landing.

    All of the above I did without speaking as far as possible. It took many months and hours of time, but we got there. The idea was, that after the routine, she was expected to sleep, and I would not engage with her, just be there, so that she was not alone.

    We did this slowly, and had to go back a step, sometimes, if she was unwell, upset etc. I followed the same policy of silent presence, if she woke in the night. You may already have tried this, but I thought I would offer it as a sugestion, just in case. Good luck

    I have also posted an item on food intollerances which may be relavant to you, headed "sleep and restlessness".

Children
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