I don't know my baby anymore

your more then welcome i know its hard when you dont know how the day is going to be i keep photos on my phone and put it in an album under his name it really has helped me i dont know if you go to playgroups or ones that are based at childrens centres but ask the group leaders as they have info also just type in help centres for children with autism or disabiltys in your area hope this helps xxx

My son has a Thomas too! and a Percy. They go everywhere with us! I think I'm going to get some photos of our favourite haunts (inc the house) as he's definately happier if he knows whats going to happen. I don't know that we have an Advice Centre locally, but I will ask about it (although who I ask I will have to work out!) Thank you so much for your support. I really appreciate it. It's such a frightening time, but the more I talk about it the easier it seems somehow so thank you again xx

hi my son is the same age as yours im wiaiting for appointment that has just come through today i understand about the whole going out situation i got to the point where i didint want to go out anymore but i found one way of keeping him calm was by holding his thomas train a little one thatw as just right for him although its only worked a few times but when i go food shopping i found that my son liked to help me so i would stand him up in the trolley and give him the itmes to put in the trolley for me and at the end he would like to put them on the till for me although i just have to watch my eggs as he does like to put things down hard :) some trips can still be very hard but ive found that its all about visual photos for him that also helps him undertsand about where we are going who we are seeing and also a time to go home photo which is one of our flats so he has to choose also about giving him choices my son is non verbal at the moment so he points to things he wants wich can be frustrating espically if we dont have something in paticular he wants your not alone ive found since being a member on this site ive had so much help and advice ask your gp if there is an advise centre near you where you can go to get more help and advise ive just found one altough i felt silly going in there as not having a diagnosis yet they have been a major help and really surpported me im also seeing a counciller to help me deal with my own emotions which the child develoment team set up as we need to to talk about our own emotions and feelings too please dont feel alone there are help and surport agencys out there to help you xxxx

Thank you so much for your insight. It must seem like such a silly question, but I'm so grateful for the answer. Thank you.

mrsssavageangel said:

Can I ask other parents of ASD toddlers if and how they integrate? We live in a small town in rural surrey so there are no specialist facilities close by. Do I just keep him at home?

You might find there are integration issues...but you dont sequester your child...you must fight for his right to be included in communual activities (whereas he has a desire to do so, dont force it) and be vigilant that orginisers do not bully him, or allow the other children to bully him, into quitting activities he likes...

Thank you for the insight. My son loves walking around shops at the moment, but this may all change I understand that. Again thank you

I think thats a really great way of putting it " When my son was 1st diagnosed all I cd see was the autism in everything he did" I think that's it. I'm looking at him so differently that that all I can see.

Thank you for reaching out. 

We dont have to be taught to hate shops...its the flurescent lighting, the piped music and poeple milling around (especially behind or near us) that causes discomfort...

Hi - welcome .  There a lots of posts about how parents feel about diagnosis, so do a search if you haven't already.  It's often an emotional time.   When my son was 1st diagnosed all I cd see was the autism in everything he did.  Also there was a massive lack of reliable info (he's an adult now).  What helps, imo, is learning about the condition + how it affects your child as the individual he is.  When you've built up your knowledge, you'll feel more confident + it's likely you'll feel strongly on behalf of your son + how difficult life can sometimes be for him + those like him.  Also making contact with other parents + organisations can help a lot.  Loads of info via the home pg. Also we're always here to help

Thank you so much. I think I'm just a bit lost. I have no expereince of how to deal with this and although my husband keeps telling me nothing has changed from last week to this, something has changed. I know he wont react any differently (better or worse) than he did before our appointment. I'm just more scared and lacking in confidence I guess. 

You're right I need to just get on and get back out there - I'm just so scared.

And we have been told about the Early Bird classes - I'll definitly be looking into those post diagnosis.

Thank you so much for reaching out, sounds like you've worked really hard to get where you are. 

xx

My 4 year old has just been diagnosed with ASD and I have known something wasnt right since he was about 2 years old and I literally locked myself away i got invited to friends houses and out for coffee but felt my son was just too uncontrollable he would literally run everywhere at full pelt which was great for dog walking but not so much in the town centres, he hates hates hates shops so i couldnt go shopping (which my husband taught him i am sure) and I felt like a bad mum.  I think in the end i just had enough and just gritted my teeth and started taking him to more things like the ball pit where he can run around and swimming and each day gets that little bit better.  He is a lovely boy and in the house he will happily play by himself too i try to get him to sit with a book or jigsaw like my first two and he just wasnt interested but now with more routine we can manage a book or two or three at night which is great.  Some days are great and somne days i feel like pulling my hair out im sure your friends would understand, i find if you explain to people they are more likely to understand your predicament we are all human after all :)  I am sure when you get an official diagnosis you will get more information, like my peadiatrician has just mentioned to me about early bird learning classes that are run (check it out on this website) which teaches you ways to handle situations etc i am currently waiting to go on this course but that may be useful to you too :)