Quitting extra curricular clubs

Teenage and near teen brains are in such a state of flux, they're growing as much as they do in the first year of life and then there's bodily changes too, these are more obvious in girls but no less profound in boys and can be just as startling. My son went from being the shortest in his class to the tallest in just over a year, all he did was eat, sleep and grow, I was buying him new clothes every fortnight as a top that was knuckle length became one above his wrists and trousers and shoes were a nightmare. He may feel he's not as in control of his "new" body as he was his childhood one? This pre-teen and young teen stage is a bit difficult, has he started grunting yet? Teenage boys seem to go through a phase where they communicate with grunts, they seem to be able to make quite complex arrangements with each other via grunts, it's quite astonishing.

I agree about having exercise, it is good for your health, but also regulating. And if you are fit in your teens it pays dividends down the line as it us always easier to get it back.

I got most of my exercise from walking 3-4 miles (round trip) a day over a hill to get to/from school (it was in London, bikes weren't allowed as it caused too much crime).

At that age, without the walking to school I am not sure PE would have been enough. There was a lot more walking in general in the 70's/80's though. Used to walk to the shops, the park, take buses, etc.

Yes he has changed school, just over a year ago and he's made 'friends' but prefers his own company and reading. I think he just enjoys the solace and being safe after the horrible experience at his previous school. And you're dead right he's exactly like a cat! His best friend still goes to his old school. They became friends in y1 and he's never really bonded with anyone else.

Thanks  Stuart333. I totally agree and he definitely loves doing that. Its more a question of exercise/activity as he spends his break and lunchtimes reading. Due to a change of schools he now mostly travels by car so he really doesn't get much exercise and he struggles because of this.

Also he has gained so much from Taekwondo in terms of confidence and self defence, which unfortunately he has needed, i think that's why I'm finding it hard to weigh up the pros and cons!

When I was at school there weren't any clubs. My junior school didn't have any, my secondary and 6th form didn't have any as the teachers were taking industrial action for 6 of the 7 years.

I think it is good that there is more these days, but I also see people seem to fill all their time up. I wouldn't have liked too many, and I found it hard to say no to things so would have got pushed into too much.

Maybe he just wants more alone time to process what he is learning and let his mind wander (and read). That was what I did the most.

Has he changed schools? Maybe a new peer group are doing different things and he's not found his place yet and needs, like a cat, to turn around 3 times before he can settle down. 

Thanks TheCatWoman Yeah the thought had crossed my mind too that it might be an age thing rather than an asd associated thing. And that is fine it will just be persuading him to do something else exercise wise! x

It really does just help to hear everyone else's experiences! Thank you x

Hi, I have an 11yo and an 8 yo. 

We used to do a lot of clubs and activities, and between them we used to have to take them to things 6 out of 7 days. 

This school year, it's been different. My son (11), completed swimming in the summer so stopped that, but he's keeping hockey for now (lots of boys do it at his school). He did tennis but it stopped for to a lack of coach.  He has taken up archery, I think this is because it was a new opportunity in the area and more casual.

As my daughter's (8) been a bit burnt out herself, she's taking a break from swimming (hopefully she'll go back). She did judo but is giving that a break too (I'm hoping she might go back to judo next year or two as it was great for her confidence).  She tried hockey and a nature club but that was too much for her anxiety. Having more time at home is helping her cope better emotionally though.

They both have kept their music though, so maybe you could see if he wants to try something else? Music is the only thing my daughter has kept this year.

I was concerned at first about everyone dropping their hobbies, but at I've been in burn out too, it's helped to take a slower pace this year. And stopping some things allowed time for other things when they came up -like if he hadn't dropped some things he might not have had time for archery when it came up.

My older one is still doing a lot, but we are in Scotland and it's his P7 year. I think next year when he goes to high school, he'll be more tired and I can see him dropping nearly everything as he adjusts, and that's okay I think.

I don't know if this helps at all, but it's all a bit of a juggle isn't it?

Honestly I think it's part of being a near teenager and growing up, lots of kids, whatever their neurology stop wanting to do things they've enjoyed for years.

Maybe ask him if theres a different martial art he'd like to do? Or say he can give up swimming or Taekwondo but not both, unless he takes up another physical thing?

Good luck