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Quitting extra curricular clubs

Bugs_17

Hi everyone, really new here. 

I was just wondering if anyone had any advice or experience of a pre-teen suddenly wanting to quit all their extra curricular clubs? My son (11) has ASD, loves, trains, fixing things, reading and gaming.

He has recently quit one club due to no longer enjoying it and some bullying which I totally understand. Now he wants to quit Taekwondo, which has been a great confidence booster to him as a result of bullying and he's been doing really well. He doesn't have any firm friends but seems to get on ok and his teacher is excellent and really supportive.

I'm finding it hard to strike a balance of managing his overwhelm, listening to his needs but also trying to make sure he doesn't quit everything at the drop of a hat. He also is resistant to do any exercise so I'm keen for him to keep up with Taekwondo and swimming, his only clubs.

Has anyone else had this balancing act? I've asked him about alternative clubs/exercise but he's not at all interested. 

Parents

  • When I was at school there weren't any clubs. My junior school didn't have any, my secondary and 6th form didn't have any as the teachers were taking industrial action for 6 of the 7 years.

    I think it is good that there is more these days, but I also see people seem to fill all their time up. I wouldn't have liked too many, and I found it hard to say no to things so would have got pushed into too much.

    Maybe he just wants more alone time to process what he is learning and let his mind wander (and read). That was what I did the most.

  • in reply to Stuart333

    Thanks  Stuart333. I totally agree and he definitely loves doing that. Its more a question of exercise/activity as he spends his break and lunchtimes reading. Due to a change of schools he now mostly travels by car so he really doesn't get much exercise and he struggles because of this.

    Also he has gained so much from Taekwondo in terms of confidence and self defence, which unfortunately he has needed, i think that's why I'm finding it hard to weigh up the pros and cons!

  • in reply to Bugs_17

    Teenage and near teen brains are in such a state of flux, they're growing as much as they do in the first year of life and then there's bodily changes too, these are more obvious in girls but no less profound in boys and can be just as startling. My son went from being the shortest in his class to the tallest in just over a year, all he did was eat, sleep and grow, I was buying him new clothes every fortnight as a top that was knuckle length became one above his wrists and trousers and shoes were a nightmare. He may feel he's not as in control of his "new" body as he was his childhood one? This pre-teen and young teen stage is a bit difficult, has he started grunting yet? Teenage boys seem to go through a phase where they communicate with grunts, they seem to be able to make quite complex arrangements with each other via grunts, it's quite astonishing.

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  • in reply to Bugs_17

    Teenage and near teen brains are in such a state of flux, they're growing as much as they do in the first year of life and then there's bodily changes too, these are more obvious in girls but no less profound in boys and can be just as startling. My son went from being the shortest in his class to the tallest in just over a year, all he did was eat, sleep and grow, I was buying him new clothes every fortnight as a top that was knuckle length became one above his wrists and trousers and shoes were a nightmare. He may feel he's not as in control of his "new" body as he was his childhood one? This pre-teen and young teen stage is a bit difficult, has he started grunting yet? Teenage boys seem to go through a phase where they communicate with grunts, they seem to be able to make quite complex arrangements with each other via grunts, it's quite astonishing.

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