Just looking for a bit of reassurance I think

Sounds good  Whilst the majority of families with autistic children do admittedly have to fight sometimes to get the right support for their children (and it can be exhausting) I always think the key is to not let that overshadow the fact that we are so blessed to have our beautiful children and to treasure all those things - including being autistic - that make them so uniquely wonderful and precious. If I could go back in time to when my children were younger I would tell myself not to worry so much - because as loving parents we so want to do the right thing by our children that we can lose sight of the fact that one of the things our children really want is happy, relaxed parents - so don’t forget to take care of yourself too - it’s not selfish - it will benefit the whole family if you do that. x 

The best thing I did for my 10yr old was take him to equine therapy sessions with an interest in autism. She taught him how to be himself as he was high masking. We are 2 years on now and he is so different and more comfortable about being different. He talks openly, shares his interests and is never afraid to be open and to the point. 
The second best thing we did was use an advocate to obtain a EHCP, we don’t have this just yet but are very confident about getting one now. He now receives the help and assistance he needs at school and we as parents are listened to when communicating with the school. It was A very different story a few years ago.

Keep pushing and don’t give up, it is a bit of a journey but you will get there and think of the difference you will make to your child in the future. 

Thank you so much for your message Kate. Me and my husband have said that we will only inform people on a need to know basis that will be able to help and support him as I don't want people to change the way they view him just because or a label. 

I'm glad we do now have a diagnosis and I'm hopeful the school will support him on ways that meets his needs, I'm planning to wait for his report and go to see the Senco lead to design something that will help him, he's in quite a small school which is lovely but it definitely doesn't have the funding or staff knowledge for children who are there already and have very big struggles. 

He's a very special little boy and so wonderfully in his own world so I'm keen to help him thrive in that little world of his

Hi - it’s no wonder you’re feeling unsettled - it’s a lot to process. My youngest son was diagnosed as autistic at 10 - then my eldest in his early twenties. It’s good that your son has been diagnosed earlier than my children - as the earlier the diagnosis the sooner you can be sure of getting the right support for him. So this really is a positive. 
I would just take each day as it comes - and not project too far ahead or have any particular expectations of how things will go. Autistic children are just like any other children in that they often surprise us and as a parent we have to be able to adapt as they change, and think on our feet, and be flexible. Your son is still the same person - diagnosis or not - so on that level the label doesn’t have to change your relationship at all. Labels are important on one level (particularly for getting help at school) but it’s important to not let them ‘get in the way’ in terms of our relationships as a family. 
My eldest did really well academically at school (he’s now doing a PHD) but struggled in other ways, whereas my youngest did not thrive at school academically or in many other ways either (and he had selective mutism which was the most difficult aspect of his school life). All autistic children will have their own unique challenges and strengths- so keep an open mind and try not to worry too much about the future. With your love, understanding and support he will be ok. 

Thank you!! I'm going to make my way through the pages

Thank you for your kind response. I feel like you nailed it perfectly with what you said at the end and by you saying it has just made it click into place in my head. He does come home from school a want to be alone, or wants to watch TV on his own. I guess he feels safe at home that he can be his wonderful natural self and we need to learn how best to support him in this

Thank you so much for your kind message. I'm very glad he's been diagnosed at such a young age and I'm hoping this means we can get him any support he needs along the way to support him as he grows. 

I was only diagnosed last month as having ADHD at age 32 but the struggles have been apparent from primary school, so I'm hoping with my son we can learn with him and hope that he feels supported throughout. He is a very happy little boy (although he doesn't show this often through his expressions). A lot of the things that came up yesterday I was sorting of aware of but it sort of stung a little bit being told that he doesn't engage with others and is very individual in his play. He is very well loved by his peers at school but I don't think he even realises it, he doesn't have a best friend (in his opinion - others call him his best friend) 

I've suggested to my husband we both do some online modules to learn a bit more about it all but also learn with him and see what works for him.

Thank you from an overwhelmed mum!

In some ways the ability to mask well will mean that your child will be able to navigate social pressures with greater success. However, masking is the result of intellectual effort; what comes naturally, with no effort, to allistic (non-autistic) children and adults is the result of heightened vigilance and the conscious copying of others in autistic people. Obviously, this comes at a cost in exhaustion and anxiety. Imagine that your child is an actor all of the time he is in a social setting, he has to remember his lines and stage directions constantly. At home he may need to have more alone time and time not interacting with others, even family, in order to recover from the social pressures of school. I am autistic (diagnosed) with an adult autistic daughter.

Hi! I’m autistic too though I was diagnosed much later at age 25. I think having an early diagnosis is a very positive thing for your son as he can access support if he needs it and most importantly as it can help him better understand himself. I went through school doing very well academically, then to university but at some point I stopped being able to cope so well- I think exhaustion and burnout can build up over years and it didn’t help that I had no idea that I was autistic so I kept pushing myself to try and be normal and do normal things which probably didn’t help. I knew I was different from a young age and initially that didn’t bother me but later on I started blaming myself for lack of friends etc. I think it would have helped me to know that I was autistic. I’m still figuring everything out now. 

Since your son now has a diagnosis he should be able to get support at school and also reasonable adjustments later on at work, which is good. 

I also want to reassure you that even though being autistic brings many challenges in life, a lot of autistic individuals lead very happy and successful lives. Most of my friends are also autistic and we all went to university and many of us are doing quite well. I think the most important thing is to understand yourself and to know what activities and things are good for you and which ones are stress factors and energy draining- I guess this is not only true for autistic individuals but knowing you are autistic really helps. 

Hi Aimee, welcome to the online community. Thank you for sharing with the online community how you’re feeling after your son’s diagnosis. You may find it useful to have a look at our page with information on after diagnosis, which includes support that may be available: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/after-diagnosis. 

Best wishes,

Anna Mod