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Just looking for a bit of reassurance I think

Aimee14x

Hello everyone,

I'm new here, my 4 (nearly 5) year old son has just been diagnosed today. 

I feel very mixed feelings, it initially felt like a relief when they told, they the experts had seen what we've been dealing with at home and out and about (masks perfectly at school). However now I just feel slightly confused, it's like it's all boiled down to getting this diagnosis and now I have no idea what to do.

As he masks so well at school his current teacher showed no concerns at all ( a pre-school teacher from the same school who has now left agreed with us and filled in the forms, no idea what she put but the experts today agreed with what she said too). The assessors today said school should be able to put things in place to help him as they sense areas he will need help, however how do I go about this. I'm still waiting for the report so will read it all properly before acting. 

I just feel a bit lost and mixed up and no idea where to really go. 

Sorry it's about lengthy, also called them the experts as I can't remember what their job titles were. He is very high functioning and does masks very well in situations so I just want to be able to get him and give him support he actually needs to suit him.

Thank you Blush

Parents

  • Hi! I’m autistic too though I was diagnosed much later at age 25. I think having an early diagnosis is a very positive thing for your son as he can access support if he needs it and most importantly as it can help him better understand himself. I went through school doing very well academically, then to university but at some point I stopped being able to cope so well- I think exhaustion and burnout can build up over years and it didn’t help that I had no idea that I was autistic so I kept pushing myself to try and be normal and do normal things which probably didn’t help. I knew I was different from a young age and initially that didn’t bother me but later on I started blaming myself for lack of friends etc. I think it would have helped me to know that I was autistic. I’m still figuring everything out now. 

    Since your son now has a diagnosis he should be able to get support at school and also reasonable adjustments later on at work, which is good. 

    I also want to reassure you that even though being autistic brings many challenges in life, a lot of autistic individuals lead very happy and successful lives. Most of my friends are also autistic and we all went to university and many of us are doing quite well. I think the most important thing is to understand yourself and to know what activities and things are good for you and which ones are stress factors and energy draining- I guess this is not only true for autistic individuals but knowing you are autistic really helps. 

Reply

  • Hi! I’m autistic too though I was diagnosed much later at age 25. I think having an early diagnosis is a very positive thing for your son as he can access support if he needs it and most importantly as it can help him better understand himself. I went through school doing very well academically, then to university but at some point I stopped being able to cope so well- I think exhaustion and burnout can build up over years and it didn’t help that I had no idea that I was autistic so I kept pushing myself to try and be normal and do normal things which probably didn’t help. I knew I was different from a young age and initially that didn’t bother me but later on I started blaming myself for lack of friends etc. I think it would have helped me to know that I was autistic. I’m still figuring everything out now. 

    Since your son now has a diagnosis he should be able to get support at school and also reasonable adjustments later on at work, which is good. 

    I also want to reassure you that even though being autistic brings many challenges in life, a lot of autistic individuals lead very happy and successful lives. Most of my friends are also autistic and we all went to university and many of us are doing quite well. I think the most important thing is to understand yourself and to know what activities and things are good for you and which ones are stress factors and energy draining- I guess this is not only true for autistic individuals but knowing you are autistic really helps. 

Children
  • in reply to Ann :)

    Thank you so much for your kind message. I'm very glad he's been diagnosed at such a young age and I'm hoping this means we can get him any support he needs along the way to support him as he grows. 

    I was only diagnosed last month as having ADHD at age 32 but the struggles have been apparent from primary school, so I'm hoping with my son we can learn with him and hope that he feels supported throughout. He is a very happy little boy (although he doesn't show this often through his expressions). A lot of the things that came up yesterday I was sorting of aware of but it sort of stung a little bit being told that he doesn't engage with others and is very individual in his play. He is very well loved by his peers at school but I don't think he even realises it, he doesn't have a best friend (in his opinion - others call him his best friend) 

    I've suggested to my husband we both do some online modules to learn a bit more about it all but also learn with him and see what works for him.

    Thank you from an overwhelmed mum! Blush