• Replies 7 replies
  • Subscribers 69 subscribers
  • Views 421 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

ASD burn OUT_advice for adult

act1066

Hi all,

My partner has what I think is asd burnout. i am looking for advice from anyone who has worked through this minefield to the other side
. Background - we have been together 10 years. My partner has asd diagnosis and would be considered high functioning [ works 25 hours a week ]

Over the last few months, her asd issues have multiplied 5-fold at least. 
Lots of shouting or going bed for half a day or all day, followed by feeling rubbish because of shouting or being in bed all day.
Self-care has dropped right down its a struggke to get ther ti eat at least 3 days of the week.  

i really need the advice.

i find the advice in sites like this to be very weak

  • give them space = done, but has not improved things
  • be calm and do not blame = done  and of course
  • encourage her to do her special interest to get more spoons = have always done this 

i make a massive effort to make life smooth for her, so as not to trigger a asd moment, but it's now almost impossible to have a day without a shutdown or meltdown.

Today was 10 minutes late having a bath this cause a shut down and has been in bed all day, and totally non-verbal :(

i am exhausted trying to support her, and if  i am exhauste,d she must be triple exhausted 

Any thoughts appreciated 

  • in reply to Stuart333

    Demands need to be reduced. If working this will be using all the energy. She should probably be signed off work.

    Giving space does not mean for an hour or two, she needs to on her own most of the time. Consider sleeping separately.

    Minimum conversation as communication is hard. Rest, alone. No stress.

    Reduce sensory input, particularly sound.

    ️She needs to recognise what is happening and what is causing stress.

    She may be confused, not recognise or remember what she is doing, struggle to say what the issue is.

    She may also be depressed. Depression goes with it.

    It may take a long time to recover, as in months. It may be hard.

  • in reply to act1066

    There may be something the GP can help with, it’s worth a shot as they are usually the first point of call with anything medical. They may not all be extremely clued up on autism itself no that’s right but if you are able to advocate on her behalf to some degree if she’s ok with that obviously as she may not have the energy to say what’s wrong herself. Hope things improve I really do

  • in reply to Autismman

    thank for your feedback, i am trying the points you raised except seeing the gp.
    i have to get her to agree to see the gp, which will not be easy als,o i am not sure the gp will be equipped to give anything more the  a standard fit all answer and not really understand the issues 

  • in reply to Bunny

    things are gettig worse Disappointed    have you applie the ideas in the "Autistic Burnout Recovery: How to Build a Recovery Plan" book?

  • Does she see she has a problem?

    I assume you can't miss it, but when you are disregulated or have disfunctional thoughts it might not be obvious.

    Is she still working?

  • Hi and welcome to the community.

    I'm really sorry to hear of your partner's struggles. I suggest that she contacts her GP for support.

    Alongside that, she - and you - might find these NAS resources helpful, including the strategies suggested in the first one:

    NAS - Autistic fatigue and burnout

    NAS - Meltdowns

    There's also some great (free) advice here from Dr Megan Neff - a neurodivergent author (who's also a clinician and advocate):

    Autistic Burnout Recovery: How to Build a Recovery Plan

    I've also bought this new book of hers. It covers the subject in much greater detail, whilst remaining very user-friendly (including lots of diagrams and worksheets, for example):

    The Autistic Burnout Workbook: Your Guide to Your Personal Recovery Plan

  • Hello there, sorry to hear your partner is struggling at the moment.  Do you know what has triggered this recent change in mood? Has work become more challenging? Do the managers expect more or are they changing how and when tasks are carried out? Burnout is the result of trying to juggle too much in one go, that could be expectations from others or self. It can also be triggered by overwhelming emotions that we cannot cope with causing a rapid decline in well being and mood. There is no cure except time and rest, a lot of rest. Removing all expectations from the sufferer if possible and letting them build themselves back up again slowly and at their own pace. If she’s able to reach out to her GP that’s the best option to see if there’s any recommendations from them.