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ASD burn OUT_advice for adult

act1066

Hi all,

My partner has what I think is asd burnout. i am looking for advice from anyone who has worked through this minefield to the other side
. Background - we have been together 10 years. My partner has asd diagnosis and would be considered high functioning [ works 25 hours a week ]

Over the last few months, her asd issues have multiplied 5-fold at least. 
Lots of shouting or going bed for half a day or all day, followed by feeling rubbish because of shouting or being in bed all day.
Self-care has dropped right down its a struggke to get ther ti eat at least 3 days of the week.  

i really need the advice.

i find the advice in sites like this to be very weak

  • give them space = done, but has not improved things
  • be calm and do not blame = done  and of course
  • encourage her to do her special interest to get more spoons = have always done this 

i make a massive effort to make life smooth for her, so as not to trigger a asd moment, but it's now almost impossible to have a day without a shutdown or meltdown.

Today was 10 minutes late having a bath this cause a shut down and has been in bed all day, and totally non-verbal :(

i am exhausted trying to support her, and if  i am exhauste,d she must be triple exhausted 

Any thoughts appreciated 

Parents

  • Hello there, sorry to hear your partner is struggling at the moment.  Do you know what has triggered this recent change in mood? Has work become more challenging? Do the managers expect more or are they changing how and when tasks are carried out? Burnout is the result of trying to juggle too much in one go, that could be expectations from others or self. It can also be triggered by overwhelming emotions that we cannot cope with causing a rapid decline in well being and mood. There is no cure except time and rest, a lot of rest. Removing all expectations from the sufferer if possible and letting them build themselves back up again slowly and at their own pace. If she’s able to reach out to her GP that’s the best option to see if there’s any recommendations from them. 

  • in reply to Autismman

    thank for your feedback, i am trying the points you raised except seeing the gp.
    i have to get her to agree to see the gp, which will not be easy als,o i am not sure the gp will be equipped to give anything more the  a standard fit all answer and not really understand the issues 

  • in reply to act1066

    There may be something the GP can help with, it’s worth a shot as they are usually the first point of call with anything medical. They may not all be extremely clued up on autism itself no that’s right but if you are able to advocate on her behalf to some degree if she’s ok with that obviously as she may not have the energy to say what’s wrong herself. Hope things improve I really do

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  • in reply to act1066

    There may be something the GP can help with, it’s worth a shot as they are usually the first point of call with anything medical. They may not all be extremely clued up on autism itself no that’s right but if you are able to advocate on her behalf to some degree if she’s ok with that obviously as she may not have the energy to say what’s wrong herself. Hope things improve I really do

Children
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