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Any guidance would be grateful

Luna

Any help & guidance  with my 16 year old daughter. We are waiting on diagnosis through Right to choose f . My diagnosis on research and changes in herself  Autistic. I believe she as been masking for 2 years now which I missed the signs unfortunately the lady 6 months have got really bad to point she can’t attend school as it’s to much for her to cope with . Lights , Nosie , socially interacting it completely exhausting for her school have been really good but her in reduced timetable which when discussed with her she was happy ! She went in once was to much so she hadn’t been to school now for 2 months which she only as 12 weeks left & only a couple of exams to sit in may which I am not sure she is going to be able to sit them but she said she will . Our home is her safe place and relaxed . It’s extremely hard to get to out as she finds exhausting even for walk .completely concerned she can’t live her life like this and how can get help & support to try and help her the last 6 months have been extremely difficult! She didn’t like attending family gatherings I she hides herself away form world which is worrying. We have had counselling form the loucal authority which was really good but the lady went of sick for 3 weeks then didn’t come back ! Then we had another one & the same thing happened again then my daughter lost trust in the system which is such a same .. stuck at the crossroads wandering which way to go ! Any help and support would be so grateful 

Parents

  • I am sorry to hear of your struggles.  It must be incredibly worrying, and I can truly empathise as I have a family member who is exhibiting similar behaviour patterns at much the same age, and there's a real issue over what can be done to alleviate matters.

    It is clearly good that your daughter feels able to sit her exams this year at least, because this will give her options going forward.  My family member flatly refuses to do any exercise whatsoever and rarely leaves the house, so I do get it.  I am not sure what the answer is here, and not sure that a positive diagnosis will make much difference at 16. 

    I would suggest that you try to involve her in any groups or activities that may be taking place locally - perhaps via local news outlets, social media or even by speaking with the GP who can facilitate something called 'social prescribing'  which essentially means connecting people with things in the community that may be beneficial.  

    Good luck going forward, and with those exams. 

  • in reply to overwhelmed & underwhelmed ( O & U )

    Thank you for your advice it very helpful. Just taking to someone helps as I am single parent many thanks really appreciate your time ! Good luck with you too I hope it all resolve for you . 

  • in reply to Luna

    May I just ask how long as your family member been struggling? Thank you 

  • in reply to Luna

    The problem you have - more than many - is the age of 16.  You can't enforce attendance at school or anything else.  If she doesn't want to cooperate, she won't, and likely the familiar surroundings of home are always going to be more appealing than trying something new.  

    Let's face it - they would be to most people.  

    Yet finding an interest away from home is the only way to break the cycle.  It could be a sport, a new friend or club or travel.  In reference to the person I'm talking about, the only things that actually got her out (except when she does go to school which isn't regular) was when she found a relationship and because she had an interest in theme parks.  

    There is support in terms of other people in similar positions, but she's been so long 'in the system' that she's quite cynical about accepting adult/professional help now, and if she can't see instant rewards, she won't commit - or will agree to commit, then change her mind before the day of an appointment.  It is hard, because the person who gets damaged the most is herself - but the support isn't exactly great either - and isn't tailored for the individual.  

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  • in reply to Luna

    The problem you have - more than many - is the age of 16.  You can't enforce attendance at school or anything else.  If she doesn't want to cooperate, she won't, and likely the familiar surroundings of home are always going to be more appealing than trying something new.  

    Let's face it - they would be to most people.  

    Yet finding an interest away from home is the only way to break the cycle.  It could be a sport, a new friend or club or travel.  In reference to the person I'm talking about, the only things that actually got her out (except when she does go to school which isn't regular) was when she found a relationship and because she had an interest in theme parks.  

    There is support in terms of other people in similar positions, but she's been so long 'in the system' that she's quite cynical about accepting adult/professional help now, and if she can't see instant rewards, she won't commit - or will agree to commit, then change her mind before the day of an appointment.  It is hard, because the person who gets damaged the most is herself - but the support isn't exactly great either - and isn't tailored for the individual.  

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