Any guidance would be grateful

The problem you have - more than many - is the age of 16.  You can't enforce attendance at school or anything else.  If she doesn't want to cooperate, she won't, and likely the familiar surroundings of home are always going to be more appealing than trying something new.  

Let's face it - they would be to most people.  

Yet finding an interest away from home is the only way to break the cycle.  It could be a sport, a new friend or club or travel.  In reference to the person I'm talking about, the only things that actually got her out (except when she does go to school which isn't regular) was when she found a relationship and because she had an interest in theme parks.  

There is support in terms of other people in similar positions, but she's been so long 'in the system' that she's quite cynical about accepting adult/professional help now, and if she can't see instant rewards, she won't commit - or will agree to commit, then change her mind before the day of an appointment.  It is hard, because the person who gets damaged the most is herself - but the support isn't exactly great either - and isn't tailored for the individual.  

Just taking to other parents who are experiencing the same things doesn't make you feel so alone ! 

I have looked for groups in my area there is not a lot & my daughter refuses to go ! I was thinking of making a group myself a coffee morning for parents & there children to come & just chat together just a small group I think it would help parents .

A long time bless her ! Must be extremely hard for you both .. is she attending school at all ? Do you get support? I have to older girls with families of there own they are the only thing keeping me going at moment ! Like yourself it’s hard xx

Sure, she was diagnosed at 6.  She doesn't mask and is totally uncooperative.  She's almost 15 now. 

May I just ask how long as your family member been struggling? Thank you 

Thank you for support it’s very appreciated just talking to someone about it really helps ! Really glad I found this site so helpful. 

Thank you for your advice it very helpful. Just taking to someone helps as I am single parent many thanks really appreciate your time ! Good luck with you too I hope it all resolve for you . 

Hello Luna, welcome to our Community.

I am sorry to hear about your Daughter's situation.  I am glad that it sounds like the School have been working with your best efforts to try and support her.

It is always super-unsettling to experience personnel changes like you described with the local authority counselling.  Even so, it is worth trying to persevere with that route, if possible, as it can keep the needs assessed range of Council services available to your Daughter (possibly until age 19 or 25 years depending on your area).  I was thinking ahead also, once you participate in and receive the assessment report from her Right To Choose assessment provider - it would be good to update both her GP and her Council Team contact accordingly and have a renewed discussion with her School too.

In our County there are a few support groups run by families with Autistic children and young people (our County has a very long waiting list for NHS assessment for both children and adults - so more people are using the Right To Choose route these days).  I wondered if you might find a support group like that in your area.

In our area, some cinemas, theatres and museums have autism-friendly openings - which can be helpful for families encouraging young people to become comfortable with places beyond home.

Our area doesn't have a National Autistic Society Branch nearby - but you might be more fortunate - you can find out here:

https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/branches

When it comes to activities being exhausting - I have found that is something to approach in three phases: 1) prepare well then rest, 2) attend the event, 3) then try to schedule a recuperation day for the following day.

(E.g. that recuperation day is what I am aiming for today - as I attended an Autism-friendly event at a museum yesterday morning).

Best wishes.

I am sorry to hear of your struggles.  It must be incredibly worrying, and I can truly empathise as I have a family member who is exhibiting similar behaviour patterns at much the same age, and there's a real issue over what can be done to alleviate matters.

It is clearly good that your daughter feels able to sit her exams this year at least, because this will give her options going forward.  My family member flatly refuses to do any exercise whatsoever and rarely leaves the house, so I do get it.  I am not sure what the answer is here, and not sure that a positive diagnosis will make much difference at 16. 

I would suggest that you try to involve her in any groups or activities that may be taking place locally - perhaps via local news outlets, social media or even by speaking with the GP who can facilitate something called 'social prescribing'  which essentially means connecting people with things in the community that may be beneficial.  

Good luck going forward, and with those exams.