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Grief

Currilena

Hi. New to this group. Does anyone have any experience of how to support an adult child through grief? The grief is not related to a bereavement but a band that my daughter was in, that has ended. Music is a very important part of her life and she is inconsolable to the extent of self harm. She feels 'stuck' and unable to move forward. Doesn't want to form a new band, wants the old one back, which isn't possible. Im trying to educate myself and learn as much as possible about autism but its a steep learning curve. My family just think she needs to 'get over it'. I totally get that she can't but its so hard to see your child unhappy and feel powerless to help them. Thanks for reading. I feel quite alone and isolated. 

Parents

  • If I could compile a list of all the things I'd want back I'd still be writing three weeks from now - and none of them are feasible. 

    The other thing is that quite a few weren't that great (if I am honest) but time has made me feel that they were, and I've forgotten the downside, and only feel the losses stacking up.

    I do feel the pain here.  I understand the sense of loss, and if I had a £ for every time someone has told me to get over something I'd be wealthy. What does saying that actually achieve?

    I have cPTSD so I get it.  I tend to look back in anguish, you might say.  

    I can't wave a wand and form a new band here but I do suggest your daughter find another.  Get in touch with former bandmates, and see what they are doing now.  What band have they joined?

    Speak to your GP about social prescribing.  It is essentially about joining people with activities and groups in their area that may be of benefit. 

    https://www.england.nhs.uk/personalisedcare/social-prescribing/

    It is a hard route back, but she can do it.  Good luck.  

Reply

  • If I could compile a list of all the things I'd want back I'd still be writing three weeks from now - and none of them are feasible. 

    The other thing is that quite a few weren't that great (if I am honest) but time has made me feel that they were, and I've forgotten the downside, and only feel the losses stacking up.

    I do feel the pain here.  I understand the sense of loss, and if I had a £ for every time someone has told me to get over something I'd be wealthy. What does saying that actually achieve?

    I have cPTSD so I get it.  I tend to look back in anguish, you might say.  

    I can't wave a wand and form a new band here but I do suggest your daughter find another.  Get in touch with former bandmates, and see what they are doing now.  What band have they joined?

    Speak to your GP about social prescribing.  It is essentially about joining people with activities and groups in their area that may be of benefit. 

    https://www.england.nhs.uk/personalisedcare/social-prescribing/

    It is a hard route back, but she can do it.  Good luck.  

Children
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