How to get assessed & diagnosis

Hi all,

I have a 4 old daughter that is clearly severely autistic but have no diagnosis or doctors will not ever refer her until she’s 5. I’m at my wits end with no support from any medical professional. I try not to self diagnose but having autism mildly myself & my teenage son, the signs are there. The severe meltdowns, rocking back and forth , humming, hand flapping, no social boundaries, plus only 2 hours a night sleep. She was supposed to start reception but the school are very hesitant to take her due to her violent outbursts (she is also quite heavy & very tall for her age so could easily hurt another child) they’re trialing her out an hour or so a week to see if she can attend but they also say they can not send any referal until she’s 5.

i know the waiting lists are extremely long so having to wait another 6 months to even be referred is too much to even think about. I barely leave the house due to her meltdowns, survive on zero sleep & am spending ridiculous amounts of money for her needs (things to keep her stimulated & occupied, special foods because she refuses to eat what I buy for the family) without any help. I have applied for DLA but am unsure of the outcome due to no diagnosis or assistance from any doctors. 

Does anyone have any advice on how I can get her assessed any faster? The doctors are adamant they can’t refer her until she’s 5 & are so unhelpful. My surgery is rated 1 star so that says everything. They won’t even see her physically for an appointment & I just have to communicate via econsult. I have numerous videos for evidence of her behaviour but they just don’t want to know. 

I would be most grateful for any advice or organisations that can help me out.

many thanks