Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi there, my teenager (16) has recently met a long-lost auntie for the first time and has become very fixated with her. She cries about her, saying she misses her and her hugs etc. and it feels like it's taking over - this has coincided with her starting a new educational setting (although she has been fixated with her for a few weeks, it's really ramped up the last few days). I'm assuming she is projecting her anxieties. Does anyone have any advice? I've seen lots of info about obsessions/fixations with toys etc. but not much about how to manage an obsession with a person. The auntie doesn't live near us and my daughter is also texting her a lot (we've told her to block during the week as she is working!)
Thanks very much JD, that is an alternative view that is really useful for me being neurotypical and not having had this issue with my daughter before.
Hi there. If the auntie is happy with the amount of contact (noting what you said about work) and it’s helping your daughter (although she misses her) then it doesn’t sound like it’s harming anyone. Some autistic people (myself included) do form very strong attachments to people, which may seem ‘obsessive’ in a neurotypical context but if not harming anyone can be very helpful personal connections to people who struggle socially. Not sure how helpful I’m being, but just trying to offer some reassurance.