Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi
My daughter is 6, has autism and has severe learning difficulties. She’s never liked sleeping, but recently it’s gotten out of hand. She won’t stay in bed, getting up just seconds after we get her back in bed, and she runs straight to me and her dad, wherever we are. This happens over and over for hours - in the last week we’ve had several nights where she’s had only 4 or 5 hours sleep because of this. She knows she’s supposed to be in bed, and I’m worried she thinks it’s a game. She’s not distressed or upset at all - she’s usually smiling in the cheeky way she does when she thinks she’s getting away with something.
We’ve tried everything - night lights, blackout curtains, total silence, white noise machines, a strict bedtime routine, and she has a prescription for melatonin. Social stories don’t work because she can’t understand or pay attention to them. Nothing works.
The only way I’ve found of getting her to sleep at a remotely reasonable time, is to stay in her room with her, cuddling her lower legs so that she stays lying down (a normal cuddle doesn’t work because she kicks and flails wildly with her legs, not in an unhappy way, it’s just something she likes to do). That way she succumbs to sleep within an hour because she’s forced to stay still and calm. However, the problem with that plan, is I’m pregnant, and in a few months I won’t be physically capable of doing that anymore (and for some reason that strategy doesn’t work if her dad does it).
Does anyone have any similar experience, or have any ideas for what might help?
I'm not a parent, but sleeping less than average is common in my family. Since weight on her legs seems to help, would it be worth trying a weighted blanket? I know some adults have found it helps.
Hiya, not sure if any of this will help but you are not alone!
My daughter, 10, has never slept, ever. Her body copes but then she will have a night where she sleeps well, then go back to non sleeping. It's like her body has its own natural rhythm. I tried everything when she was younger too. I was young, no idea about austim, and trying to be a great parent. I tried everything you did, as my daughter would not stay in bed the same as yours - I thought this was normal bedtime shenanigans until I had baby #2. It wasn't till she was 8 and I was discussing it with my mum she pointed out my brother doesn't either. My brother is NT and a non sleeper too. Even as a 40 year old. No sleep needed longer than a few hours. I've came to accept she's a non sleeper, but also when she's asleep she's such a light sleeper it's a nightmare. I literally cannot have any form of social life or people over she she will hear and be up nosying around - and no she will not go back to sleep. In the last year, I put an Alexa in her room and we have tried various sounds. She has Thunderstorms all night and it's helped enough that she is not waking up every 2 hours..it's stretched to 4 hours.
My ASD son on the other hand..... realising his insane lack of sleep, or lack of going back to sleep and a probable diagnosis coming up at a young age, I timed how much sleep he needs over the course of a week. His average worked out at 9 per 24 hours - including at the time naps. This boy does not cope without sleep like my daughter.
So I changed my bedtime routine, he's 5 and goes to bed between 9 and ten. Late yes, moany people will moan about it, i dont get an evening, but as a parent you never know what your child will be like so I accept the defeat and don't dwell on it. For the 8 - 9 hours he's asleep he is solidly sleeping.
If I put him bed anytime before 9, he either... wakes up a few hours later l thinking he's had an awesome nap or woke up before 3am. He will not go back to sleep, he is fully awake, bouncing around and waking the house up. I'd rather him sleep later and better than trying to force a bedtime earlier.
The same biological mechanism responsible for sleep is the same responsible for higher anxiety in Autism and ADHD. Many more studies have come out since 2020 showing we tend to have less of these inhibitors responsible for shutting down “hyper accelerating brainwaves” which can spill from excitement into anxiety. Theres a great deal of different types but usually grouped under GABA
From what I’ve read and experienced, Melatonin can interfere with heart rate, so I’d tread carefully. But also, stretching before bed can produce great results: a yoga or judo routine, as many Autistics and ADHDrs can have different joints and stretching them out daily (along with a good amount of exercise) will help
The building blocks of GABA can be found in L Theanine, and I’ve found a natural source of them in mushroom gummies (like Feel Güd) or a mushroom compound. There are drugs to promote this as well, which epileptics might take, but she’s much too young. A magnesium spray before bed can help as well (not to internally take too much, the body will be allowed to absorb what it needs from the skin. I use it on my legs.)