Published on 12, July, 2020
My son is 15 and is autistic , since the loss of his brother in june 2022 he has deteriorated hugely , I got him Bereavement counselling early on but was told that some children who is autistic can take time to process loss , alot has changed at home my son who passed was 22 and passed away at home but because he was the eldest and severely disabled our lives were so routined , now life has hugely changed , my 15 year old hasn't been to school in months , he has always soiled himself but always let my husband change him , now he won't let anyone change him meaning sat in poo for days , he hasn't bathed for weeks or hair cut he is a mess he barely leaves the house if he does it will be out the front and back in. He completely shuts down and won't talk for days, he over eats and he just a shadow to himself he told me noone understands him , school is pressuring not understanding they told me they seen worse!! I mean seriously he stinks!! He shuts his bedroom door and barely out, I am in desperate need for help I am trying so hard to help him.
Hi Debz Sharp,
I am sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult time. You may find it helpful to look at our web page about bereavement https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/bereavement/parents
The helplines partnership bereavement resources may be of interest to you: https://www.helplines.org/helplines/?query=bereavement&Helpline+topics=Bereavement
In addition, you may want to read through our guidance about dealing with change https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/dealing-with-change/all-audiences
You may want to request a carers assessment for yourself and an assessment of your sons needs. To find out about the support available for autistic adults and children; support for parents and carers; how to request an assessment or funding for social care please visit: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/social-care
You may find Advocacy Services useful: Search online for ‘advocacy + [name of your Local Authority/Trust]’. Some autism friendly advocacy services are also listed on our Autism Services Directory.
Please visit our online advice and guidance which explains more about getting extra help in school, assessments, education plans, reviews and school transport for England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/education/extra-help-at-school
Kind Regards,
Rosie Mod