High school not suitable, should we move or homeschool?

Hi!

My husband and i just don't know what to do for the best, how do you know a school is the right choice or if they'll will do what they say they'll do to help your child? 

Our son was diagnosed with autism when he was 6. Primary school staff were brilliant, and the majority of kids in his class were lovely. It was a small school, 27 kids in his class and one class per year. He started comp in September - it's a large school with over 1700 pupils and, although we were assured that there would be one-to-one assistance, with reminders to drink and go to the loo, and that there would be assistance to help him get to lessons and to interact with other pupils, we're almost at the end of the first year and it's been a bit of a struggle! The TA has a small group of half a dozen other kids - some of the children also have behavioural issues, and our son is often at their mercy. Nothing physical, but he gets tormented and just doesn't understand that he should ignore them. If they're caught in the act, then a note goes home to their parents etc, but sometimes the teasing is missed and my son gets really upset when i collect him from school. He also holds his wee all day, to avoid going to the toilet in school - we have raised this several times, but nothing. The school were made well aware of the needs of our son, both by us and his primary school teachers. He's very gentle and mild mannered and, typically, hasn't really grasped how to deal with his classmates - he's very trusting, and doesn't understand why others are mean to him. There are groups that he can go to during break and lunch times, but he doesn't have any assistance and so there's nobody to intercept if these other boys are there.

Academically, he was always above average in primary school. Now though, he's starting to slip back. He's been moved to smaller groups for some lessons, but the work is at a different pace - he's only in the smaller groups because they tend to be less noisy, he doesn't really need the work broken down for him. In the subjects where he's in the mainstream classes, his grades are way behind what they were in primary school, even those that he's interested in. This also isn't helped by the fact that he's developed debilitating headaches. He's had his eyes tested, scans at the hospital, but there's nothing physically wrong. He's seen a paediatrician, and they were of no use. I suggested the headaches could be because he's overwhelmed at school...their response was to keep a diary; they're 2 or 3 times a week, and i'd already explained that there was no link to diet. As for lack of sleep causing them, he's asleep by 8pm and gets up at 6am on the dot. Also, he's pretty much incapable of lying and definitely wouldn't be able to lie enough to sob on my shoulder because of the pain. 

I'm worried about homeschooling. I'm definitely not a teacher and, despite some of the other pupils being unpleasant, he does like school. The only other option to us would be to move away from the area where there are smaller schools - but we don't want to leap from the proverbial pan into the fire. 

Has anyone else uprooted their family to access a more suitable school? Are there things in particular that i need to look out for when looking at new schools? Alternatively, how on earth do you home school your child? He's a lovely kid, and his teachers have all said that he's a joy to have in the classroom; we're just not convinced that the current school he's in is the best for him - but we're just so afraid of messing everything up permanently!

Thanks.