Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm a first time mum so not really sure how much of this is normal toddler behaviour and/or if it could be signs of ASD but I'm wondering whether or not to ask about diagnosis as if my daughter does have ASD then I'd rather she had support in place as soon as possible after starting school in September.
I've tried reading around online but it really hasn't helped so please could any of you tell me if this sounds like your daughter who is on the autistic spectrum:
Very rigid over daily routines and gets extremely upset if there are any changes, even very minor ones, like walking even a slightly different route to or from somewhere familiar.
Is a perfectionist over things that she is learning and gets very upset if she gets wrong or even if mummy or daddy say the wrong word sometimes
Likes to control everything in her world. I should say we give her as many options as possible so that she feels she does have a bit of control but if it's something she is being 'told to do' or doesn't want to do then she has a tantrum.
Has frequent tantrums at home, which can get physical, including hitting and kicking. She has been going to preschool and we have been pulled aside a few times during the year for incidents of kicking other pupils, and she stamped on a teachers foot. She refused to apologise for both and ended up having her boots taken away and being sent out of the classroom. The head of nursery has been working and there haven't been any recent incidents.
Can get a bit overwhelmed by certain noises like mowers, the hoover, hand dryers out and about although she is getting a bit better with this now.
Likes to put things in her mouth a lot, loves cuddles (more so if she initiates them), but frequently avoids eye contact.
Is hyperactive most days and struggles to sleep unless she is very tired.
Is very intelligent, learnt the alphabet before 2 and was reading at 2. Is also a very good counter and has been able to count about 100, do basic maths, and correctly use basic science concepts like gravity, displacement and upthrust since 3. Is very interested in learning as much as possible about certain topics, particularly science, and space.
Likes to play with toys in the same ways and can get upset with other boys and girls if they don't share that vision. Struggles to take turns, and share.
Holds on to go to the toilet even though she has been fully toilet trained for a while. She won't go until she's desperate, and will hold on for hours.
She has been at preschool part time so for just 3 hours a day so far but I'm a bit worried about how she'll manage with full-time. My husband thinks I'm over thinking things and should see how it plays out.
I may have missed some stuff but think I've included the most important points. The rituals that she has can take up large chunks of the day and the main thing for me is that she is happy.
Thanks for reading, sorry for the long post but does anyone think that I should seek a diagnosis for my daughter or that I'm overreacting and this is all toddler behaviour anyway? Anyway thoughts or advice is much appreciated.
Thank you ️
Hi, I'm no expert in autism in children, but I am an Autistic woman who was once an autistic little girl.(although I didn't find out I was on the spectrum until I was in my fifties)
As a child, I was bright with a vivid imagination and high reading ability. I don't really remember much about my early years, but I was informed later that I was a fairly easy going child who slept well. I didn't go to nursery or pre-school, so starting school at 5 having never socialised much with other children was a bit strange. I liked all the books in the school much better than the children, and didn't make many friends. I used to try not to use the toilets at school - this carried on all through my school life. I also enjoyed cuddles with people I knew well (mum, granny)
I was a teaching assistant around 30 years ago and participated in staff training in behaviour, as there were issues with behaviour with some of the pupils. The main idea put forward was that of structure, consistency, .and rewards, and we were told that children were quite able.to learn that there may be different rules in different situations, so if the rules at home were different to those at school, the children would be able to adapt. I don't know.if this applies to all autistic children as autism wasn't understood then and not covered in my training, but I didn't have any problem as a child with different rules in different situations, as long as they were made clear.
I know it's thought to be a good thing these days to give children choices, but as a.child I was not given choices and didn't have any issues with that - I'm wondering if that makes things easier for Autistic children, as maybe choices can be overwhelming? Even as an adult now in my sixties I often find it difficult to make a decision if there are too many variables.
It does sound like your daughter could be on the spectrum, but unless.you have serious concerns about her, it might be better to leave it until.she starts school.full.time and then see.how she copes, and discuss any concerns you have with the teachers first.