Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I'm the female long-term partner of a middle aged undiagnosed Aspie. We have spent years trying to work out why my other half thought and behaved so differently before suspecting it was due to Aspergers. He has had abasic assessment by someone in a local autism organisation and they are supporting us in trying to get a referral for a diagnosis. Although my other half agrees he has Aspergers it is me who is doing all the work trying to get us information, support and a formal diagnosis. Many of the things he has difficulty with have got worse over the last couple of years and I am now spending a lot of my time supporting him in his work at home as well as being the person who has to make all the decisions and get things done in our lives on a daily basis. In my struggle to find us help I have basically been told that there are very few partners in the Sussex area for me to contact and get to know. There seems to be nothing for us partners - I am physically and mentally exhausted fighting for the little help that is out there for my partner and yet there is nothing it seems for those of us in this what seems to be a "unique position". I am finding this difficult to believe that there are so few of us who are partners. I feel our experiences and needs are not the same as carers who are parents for example. Please prove them wrong. If you are a partner of an Aspie and want some contact and support from those who can understand then get in touch with me please.
It is great that your partner is willing to get help as this will help u as a couple. Do u have children? It is important that they also.get to voice their feelings and are supported as any diagnosis affects people in different ways. Although not conclusive I have met many families where there appears to be a genetic link. So if their are grandparents on the spectrum they .may not welcome a diagnosis and resent u for upsetting the Apple cart. Just something to consider and prepare for.