Defeated

Ive posted many of times here looking for advice with my PDA/ADHD son and here I am again. 

Things have been challenging to say the least with both my autistic children. My eldest is becoming increasingly verbally abusive he always has been but he’s now the same size as me and try’s to intimidate both myself and his brother. He hits, swears, shouts. Throws things, slams doors, 

Tonight I’ve been kicked and told to go k*ll yourself you c**t and a whole load of other things. He jammed my foot in the door pushing me out his room.

I’ve asked him to settle down and play his game quietly but he’s increasingly loud and stamping his feet. I had a timer on for him which got ignored, I then was giving him gentle reminders that it’s nearing the time for him to finish up and before you know it, it’s escalated to this. He’s now locked himself in his room and is playing his games anyway. 

I often feel like what’s the point. I’ve taken every possible demand away from his life that I’ve been able to, I’m home full time with him but the stress and anxiety with what the next day bring is just killing me. I worry the impact he has on his much more stereotypical autistic brother. I see know way to support him to get anything out of life other than sleeping all day and away gaming all night.

Nothings getting better and I dread our future