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False memories

NAS93107
17 days ago

Hi. I'm new. I'm the parent of an adult son with ASD. 

We have a great relationship and always have. However, lately he has started making comments about memories of things that just didn't happen the way he sees them. In some cases they didn't happen at all. 

These comments are hurtful especially as I'm his main emotional support. My question is ,is this an autistic trait? If so,how do I handle it? How do I stop myself feeling so sad and frustrated by it? 

Currently I'm not saying anything but these comments are incredibly hurtful. Do I gently correct him or do I let it go? :-(

Parents
  • 16 days ago

    Communication between neurotypical and autistic people can be difficult, due to differences in perception, cultural beliefs, emotional reaction and communication styles.

    Consider these two statements:

    1. You don't look autistic

    2. When I heard that (person x) was autistic, I wasn't surprised, but I would not have known it with you.

    Are there any differences in meaning? Do either statements prompt any particular feelings?

    To me, both say exactly the same thing and neither have any emotion attached.

    But...recently a colleague said statement 2 when we were having a conversation about autism. A week or so later, I was referring to the fact that she had said I didn't look autistic and she replied "I didn't say that!" -  she only seemed to remember the conversation when I re-worded it to statement 2. Further dicussion revealed that she seemed to think that statement 1. would be rude, so she wouldn't say that.

    Also, Neurotypical people see the "big picture" - the overarching idea, but can miss details, whereas Autistic people see lots of detail but can sometimes miss the "big picture".

    Most of the time nobody is trying to deceive other people, so it's useful to understand that we all experience the world differently.

Reply
  • 16 days ago

    Communication between neurotypical and autistic people can be difficult, due to differences in perception, cultural beliefs, emotional reaction and communication styles.

    Consider these two statements:

    1. You don't look autistic

    2. When I heard that (person x) was autistic, I wasn't surprised, but I would not have known it with you.

    Are there any differences in meaning? Do either statements prompt any particular feelings?

    To me, both say exactly the same thing and neither have any emotion attached.

    But...recently a colleague said statement 2 when we were having a conversation about autism. A week or so later, I was referring to the fact that she had said I didn't look autistic and she replied "I didn't say that!" -  she only seemed to remember the conversation when I re-worded it to statement 2. Further dicussion revealed that she seemed to think that statement 1. would be rude, so she wouldn't say that.

    Also, Neurotypical people see the "big picture" - the overarching idea, but can miss details, whereas Autistic people see lots of detail but can sometimes miss the "big picture".

    Most of the time nobody is trying to deceive other people, so it's useful to understand that we all experience the world differently.

Children
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