Published on 12, July, 2020
Hey,
We are going through a bad time.
And I just need some advice please.
My son is 7 and has been in a bad place. He has ASD, he's a very clever boy.
We have had all the Early Help, reaching families, mental health team.
We was self harming again last week
Then Thursday he was trying to pull his light bulb saying he wanted to electrocute himself
I took him to A and e as I am just so worried about him and there doesn't seem to be services at this age to help.
They admitted him as he was all over the place and explained how hurting himself felt good and what he wanted to do.
Saw CAHMS the next day and he is having an initial referral with them (at some point)
What can I expect? Is there anything I can do to help now?
He has always talked about killing himself from such a young age.
And hurts himself a lot with pins, scissors, pens, all sorts.
He is so so loved
Any advice on what to expect or do at all?
I'm so desperate for him.
Thank you so much
Xx
I cannot offer any real advice but just to let you know that you're not alone and based on my experience there is every hope that thigs will get better.
My daughter, although a bit older than your son, starting from about a 18 months ago was admitted to A&E four times with self harming and had several other "hidden" self-harming thoughts/actions that we found out later.. She was taken under CAHMs care (were we live the only way to get seen by CAHMS is if the child has already been an actual danger to themselves or other).
She was discharged from CAHMS as they were able to be confident that she was no longer a danger to herself. She has said quite openly that she is in a better place mentally following the CAHMS help and no longer want to harm herself.
Even so the desperation never goes (even though she's well into her teens, I still don't like leaving her alone in the house for even the shortest times).
For what it's worth, thee following seemed to help:
1. Follow the safety plan that you'll be given - and make sure any other children are aware of it so they don't leave scissors for example lying around. The safety plan also allowed us to feel I was at least doing something
2. My instinct as a father was to try to protect my child and do something to fix the problem. My desire for action was often counter-productive as sometimes only listening ear and a hug was all that was really needed
3. It's a cliché but don't blame yourself - there is unlikely to be what would be considered a rational explanation of his behaviour - by definition ASD people see the world differently to non-ASD people (I heard ASD likened to trying to run Windows on a iMac). And make sure that you look after yourself - you have to put your own oxygen mask on before helping others.
4. The CAHMS teams are scandalously under resourced but once you are under their care, the individuals are fantastic. To be completely open and honest with them. Do ask them if you don't understand or disagree with what they are saying - but of course always be polite and work with them as a team.
Best of luck and I hope everything works out
Hiya.
The way CAHMS works in my county is, if its mental health they stay with CAHMS, if its something other they get taken to a child psychologist not related to CAHMS.
My daughter got first assessment and appointment very quickly. And got sessions with a wonderful child psychologist. She really helped.
My only issue was the hospital they were based at was an hours travel away, ( and then parking was horrible too) so she missed a whole school day every week. But it was worth it.