Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
I have an undiagnosed 12 year old child (son identifying as a daughter) who I have long thought might be on the spectrum. Difficulties with social situations/ crowds/ forming friendships have been a feature since nursery and a tendency towards a diamond like focus on specific topics have been the main indicators. She also strims at times.
Moving to a large secondary school has been a big challenge and there has been some bullying from others and highly inappropriate comments from my child as (s)he struggles to employ the risque humour of peers. I think social isolation is approaching and in a recent conversation s(he) explained that when she finds someone she likes spending time with, it goes wrong as she follows the new friend too closely and it breaks down. She is very reflective.
I am very familiar with Autism and and have worked in a special school environment for years. As such I am aware that a diagnosis at this level is unlikely to achieve any tangible levels of support and am further aware that reliance on support could bring its own problems. However s/he is struggling and I wonder if anyone can share their experience of life after diagnosis and the impact on their child. It's possible I too have the odd trait and found school life difficult at first (and at last tbh) but survived it and later flourished.
Thanks in advance,
T
* I realise you have a background in caring for autistic kids*
Hi, Not sure if my comment will help but as an adult (in my 30s) I had to fight to get myself diagnosed with Autism. I spent my childhood with horrible anxiety, struggled to understand relationships at school and often felt like a total outsider. As an adult things have become more and more difficult for me ontop of an already more difficult life that comes with being an adult. So in retrospect I wish Id have been diagnosed as a kid and got the help I needed e.g maybe therapy to express my feelings and thoughts better or general support in the classroom
These days its seems support is more aimed at children and teens compared to adults and therefore I would recommend you definitely fight for a diagnosis and take what you can to help your child.
An actual diagnosis written on paper by a GP/ Psychiatrist can then be used to communicate your kids needs to their teachers/school to give them extra support that they need. Could make school life more bearable for your child and promote better overall development as they get older. Im interested in how relying on support could bring about more problems??
My family have experience of this and its really helped a family member to do better at school and to understand themselves more.
When your child grows up they can look back and say, Mum did everything to help me and give me the support I needed to then grow into an adult who can manage better than if they hadnt had that input. Because struggling as an adult and not having any answers has been awful and embarrassing at times.