Awaiting assessment and completely lost

Hi All

I am hoping you can help me.

My son (8 - nearly 9) has been referred for ASD assessment. The waiting lists where we live are so long they won't even give a timescale.

We are struggling with school as he doesn't want to go most days. The SEN lead at the school won't meet with me, the best i've managed is two emails. Both emails chasing up whether we have heard back from the GP ref. a date for assessment yet.

They have put into place a transition task in the morning, which worked for a week before he no longer wanted to go.

Some days are fine, he will protest, but will go in. Other days are horrendous... refusal to get up, get ready, or even eat anything... lots of tears, and having to be coaxed in through reception to hang with the lovely office staff just to get him in. 

I don't know how i can help him.... There are other issues, also around extreme emotions, but most of the time I can talk him down after a bit of coaxing... but the school issues seem to be getting worse.

How can I get the school to do more without the diagnosis? And then, what more can they actually do?

People keep talking about an EHCP, is this something I should be applying for? 

I'm completely lost and don't know how to help him :-(

It's worth noting, I don't believe there is anything happening at school to be concerned about. As far as I am aware he isn't bullied (though doesn't have a strong friend group, never has as hes not very well rounded socially). Whenever we ask how his day went, we always ghet the standard 'Good' answer...

Thank you so much for any advice you can share.