Intense interest that's on the verge of an addiction

Something else to consider a lot of autistic people really struggle to get work when they grow up. And a lot of the ones that do end up working in a field related to their obsessions. I was like that perpetually obsessed with science and now I am a research scientist. I mean our local Vicar had been a professional nuclear physicist and even he couldn’t stand talking with me. 
i’ve had periods of unemployment where I just couldn’t seem to find work and a large part of it is that I really stacked up my entire CV just to be good at scientific research. even if I wanted to shift career in another direction it would be very hard for me to do so.

so what I’m saying is there’s a very serious possibility that your son will grow up to be a pro skater. I know teenage boys are always saying they’re going to be professional footballers or skaters or rockstars or some other celebrity style profession. But if an autistic kid says it and they put in huge amounts of time into it you should take it seriously because it may be the best shot they have actually having a career when they grow up. Because the chances are they gonna get fantastically good at it and secondly they’re likely to end up being useless for anything else.

My son's issue is with the fact that we live in a country that's prodominantly a wet country and that the weather can't be controlled. I just don't know any more how else to try and explain to him that nobody is able to control the weather and it's just something that needs to be accepted (i know - his brain isn't wired the same as mine)

I trust hes aware that you can’t control the weather. Hes also aware in bigger cities it doesn’t matter because they have indoors facilities. Some kids are just city kids. They’ll never really take to the countryside no matter what. That not an autism thing per se. But being autistic will make him less flexible about it.

Yes, violent drug related crime is less common, but youth drug / alcohol use is often worse than in the city. Although if we're talking about Scotland, I believe the rates in Glasgow are fairly bad too.

The transition to high school, where there are often 1000s of students, that greatly increases the pool of people an autistic teen can find friends / social groups among. Also, the greater mobility of teens in cities means they can engage with all sorts of after school activities which are again opportunities to make friends. But in the countryside, none of this is possible. In the city did your son not have skater friends as into skating as him? In my experience skaters tend to hang together and often make friends that way? Or was he never allowed to mix with those kids?

If you write off your son’s social life as a teen as a lost cause ... well don't expect him to be understanding about it when he's older. I've seen kids, autistic kids who've been sheltered and over protected come to university and they go crazy. Booze, drugs, casual sex if they are conventionally attractive, and they can't handle it. By the 2nd year they are burned out and at risk of dropping out. And it's typically the ones who lived in the countryside or who had incredibly overprotective parents.

here is the safest place that he has lived, I knew exactly what I was getting into before I moved here as I had extensively researched the place and we already have experience living in the countryside. My son has never had ANY groups that he can be part of. He will struggle to fit in regardless of where he lives, and everywhere that he HAS lived has proven this. We lived in in England for five years before coming back home to Scotland where he was extensively bullied - this was before his autism diagnosis. He forgets that and struggles to understand this. Yes sure there have been a few issues with the local kids - with him being the new kid - which is - of course - normal, yes there have been mild issues with neighbours, but your gonna get that everywhere,  there are addicts here, but they don't bother anyone - not like they do in the big cities.

We all struggle to come to terms with the darker side of human nature. We all shake our heads looking at human suffering and wonder why. This is not an intrinsically autistic thing. the difference perhaps is as an autistic person it might be a bit harder to block it out or write it off.

what it seems like you’re telling me is that your child has not adapted well to the countryside and blames you for moving him to the countryside. And your response to him is that it was necessary. But it sounds very much like a deliberate choice on your part. not something that external factors forced upon you.

Mark my words adapting to a new environment is not something autistic children are really capable of doing at least they hugely struggle with it. There is a very real chance he will always be a city kid and will never adapt to the countryside. Safety concerns or not there is a very real chance The countryside with all of its safety will always seem alien and strange to him.

I know that’s probably not what you want to hear but I just have great reservations about whether the countryside is the best place to raise an autistic kid. In my experience those autistic kids who ended up having decent social lives growing up bounced  between a lot of different social groups before they found one where they could make a niche for themselves. In the countryside there aren’t really a lot of different social groups for kids in fact in a small village there’s probably only one. If you’re autistic kid doesn’t get on well with the local kids that’s basically condemning him to be an outsider for as long as he lives there.

also it’s an assumption That the countryside is safe I know that a lot of small villages have really big underage  drugs problems because without anything to do a lot of kid's in small villages turn to drugs and booze which from what I hear are surprisingly easy to get a hold of.

he doesn't care what people can and can't do, he also struggles to understand that bad things happen to anyone, not just people that are not him or me - which was why I moved him away from the big city, we lived in a really rough area where folk were getting attacked, murdered raped etc on a daily basis, shops were also getting robbed and the shop keepers getting attacked and ending up being disabled as a result of being attacked, he also seen junkies constantly fighting and being aggressive to other kids in the area - yet he thinks this acceptable and normal, I don't want this to be considered normal for him, he deserves better than living in the middle of that, it's also not fair on him to have to witness such things. He didn't ask these people to behave this way. He doesn't understand that I've brought him away from that for HIS safety, he just sees that I've took him away from things that he likes - when that is not fully the case - he can still do those things here - he's just not found his rhythm here - and I'm trying soooo hard to help him with that, I try to show him things online that I can do that will allow me to better meet his needs

he doesn't care what people can and can't do, he also struggles to understand that bad things happen to anyone, not just people that are not him or me - which was why I moved him away from the big city, we lived in a really rough area where folk were getting attacked, murdered raped etc on a daily basis, shops were also getting robbed and the shop keepers getting attacked and ending up being disabled as a result of being attacked, he also seen junkies constantly fighting and being aggressive to other kids in the area - yet he thinks this acceptable and normal, I don't want this to be considered normal for him, he deserves better than living in the middle of that, it's also not fair on him to have to witness such things. He didn't ask these people to behave this way. He doesn't understand that I've brought him away from that for HIS safety, he just sees that I've took him away from things that he likes - when that is not fully the case - he can still do those things here - he's just not found his rhythm here - and I'm trying soooo hard to help him with that, I try to show him things online that I can do that will allow me to better meet his needs

Yes, violent drug related crime is less common, but youth drug / alcohol use is often worse than in the city. Although if we're talking about Scotland, I believe the rates in Glasgow are fairly bad too.

The transition to high school, where there are often 1000s of students, that greatly increases the pool of people an autistic teen can find friends / social groups among. Also, the greater mobility of teens in cities means they can engage with all sorts of after school activities which are again opportunities to make friends. But in the countryside, none of this is possible. In the city did your son not have skater friends as into skating as him? In my experience skaters tend to hang together and often make friends that way? Or was he never allowed to mix with those kids?

If you write off your son’s social life as a teen as a lost cause ... well don't expect him to be understanding about it when he's older. I've seen kids, autistic kids who've been sheltered and over protected come to university and they go crazy. Booze, drugs, casual sex if they are conventionally attractive, and they can't handle it. By the 2nd year they are burned out and at risk of dropping out. And it's typically the ones who lived in the countryside or who had incredibly overprotective parents.

here is the safest place that he has lived, I knew exactly what I was getting into before I moved here as I had extensively researched the place and we already have experience living in the countryside. My son has never had ANY groups that he can be part of. He will struggle to fit in regardless of where he lives, and everywhere that he HAS lived has proven this. We lived in in England for five years before coming back home to Scotland where he was extensively bullied - this was before his autism diagnosis. He forgets that and struggles to understand this. Yes sure there have been a few issues with the local kids - with him being the new kid - which is - of course - normal, yes there have been mild issues with neighbours, but your gonna get that everywhere,  there are addicts here, but they don't bother anyone - not like they do in the big cities.

We all struggle to come to terms with the darker side of human nature. We all shake our heads looking at human suffering and wonder why. This is not an intrinsically autistic thing. the difference perhaps is as an autistic person it might be a bit harder to block it out or write it off.

what it seems like you’re telling me is that your child has not adapted well to the countryside and blames you for moving him to the countryside. And your response to him is that it was necessary. But it sounds very much like a deliberate choice on your part. not something that external factors forced upon you.

Mark my words adapting to a new environment is not something autistic children are really capable of doing at least they hugely struggle with it. There is a very real chance he will always be a city kid and will never adapt to the countryside. Safety concerns or not there is a very real chance The countryside with all of its safety will always seem alien and strange to him.

I know that’s probably not what you want to hear but I just have great reservations about whether the countryside is the best place to raise an autistic kid. In my experience those autistic kids who ended up having decent social lives growing up bounced  between a lot of different social groups before they found one where they could make a niche for themselves. In the countryside there aren’t really a lot of different social groups for kids in fact in a small village there’s probably only one. If you’re autistic kid doesn’t get on well with the local kids that’s basically condemning him to be an outsider for as long as he lives there.

also it’s an assumption That the countryside is safe I know that a lot of small villages have really big underage  drugs problems because without anything to do a lot of kid's in small villages turn to drugs and booze which from what I hear are surprisingly easy to get a hold of.