Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all,
Looking for a wee bit of advice - if anyone else is in (or has been) in the same boat, or has had similar situations. My son is currently going through a skateboarding phase and is suddenly taking an interest in weather. He hates not being able to go out with his board as he sees the rain as an obstical to do this activity, he currently lives and breaths skateboarding. Although, I am all for encouraging him to be outdoors and getting exercise - however - living near the highlands (I'm near the Glens on the east coast) - the weather is not so great this time of the year. My boy won't stop having meltdowns as a result of not wanting to take his skateboard out in the rain and is struggling to understand that his board won't get ruined straight away - and that nobody can control the weather. He also seems to think that by constantly screaming at me about where he can go to skate that's sheltered and not flooded, and hitting me for good measure, will get me to know where he can go. I have tried countless times sitting down with him in a quiet and relaxed manner and talking to him gently about this, but this only seems to be aggrivating the situation and making him worse. It's so bad that my neighbour shouts out his window telling him to shut up and calls him derogetory names - knowing fine well he has autism and potentially other disabilities. I have tried to explain to him that he can have more than one interest and have tried exploring some examples with him. I am fully aware that it's not as straight forward as that for his brain to understand this.
Can anyone relate to this? How have you helped your autistic with things like this? (I will be bringing all this up to CAMHS when he eventually gets his appointment)
Having special interests tthat are almost so strong they qualify as addictions is basically 50% of the definition of what autism is. The technical term clinicians use is repetitive behaviours and interests. And I don’t really think there’s any way around it you’re just going to have to adapt to his obsession with skateboarding.
as for meltdowns One of the things but might be making his meltdowns worse is maybe he has the sense that he’s not really getting through to you how important skateboarding is to him. Which of course creates a feedback loop because then he gets agitated and frustrated that he can’t seem to make you understand. Which probably I imagine makes you try to divert or change the subject somehow or play down the importance of skateboarding. Which only convinces him even more that you don’t understand what he’s feeling and makes him even more frustrated and that cycle leads into meltdown.
what I’m saying is even if you think it’s silly and excessive he might have fewer meltdowns if you take his earnest desire to skateboard 24/7 seriously. Even if there is very little you can do about it just treating it as if it is a serious problem might make him feel better.
Great advice Peter, I know feeling misunderstood and not being able to communicate that was something that really emotionally hurt me as a child and led to frustration