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Meltdowns?

Catlady31
7 months ago

Hello, my daughter attends a special provision after being unable to attend mainstream from the age of 10. We have been having difficulties with her attending here too. She will seem to be going to go in then stops unable to, she covers her ears when we talk to her to help and she makes noises instead of talking.  She has now started banging her hand when we try to help her.  She will also pull me towards her to take her home and not let me leave or move away.  The more I talk to her or if staff try to help the more stressed she gets and she repeats this. I tell her I understand she wants to go home but that we need to help her attend school.  I feel we have tried everything.

When we take her out of the situation she doesn't talk for maybe half an hour and she lays on the sofa with her weighted blanket or goes to her room.  After this she is okay, talking fine and happy again until the next time.

I do not know if this is a true meltdown as she seems to be able to control some parts.  I know that sounds harsh but I am just trying to understand what is going on as I don't know which way to approach it.

Can anyone give any insight please? I have read about meltdowns on the website which has helped but if anyone has any experience I'd be grateful for any advice. Thank you.

  • 7 months ago

    I would say they sound like meltdowns to me. Particularly the not being able to take in any verbal information from other people once in meltdown and the absolute need for quiet time to myself to calm down afterwards.

    Some point in the process of taking your daughter to school seems to be the trigger that is overwhelming her into meltdown. It could be a certain point in the journey that is a reminder of a previous meltdown. It could be the overwhelm of too many people and having staff greeting her and talking to her adding to the noise.

    The problem is that once overwhelmed she will not be able to be calmed by you or the staff talking to her. Those voices will just add to the overwhelm, which is why she is appearing more stressed when that happens.

    A different approach is clearly needed, one which allows her to calm down in a quiet space without lots of verbal input from you or staff. Then when and only when she is calmer you could try again.

  • 7 months ago

    Hello Catlady31,

    I'm sorry that your daughter is struggling at the moment. The NAS website has a page on meltdowns and it might have some useful information for you. You can also type 'meltdown' in the search box and many other articles will come up. Here is the link: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/meltdowns/all-audiences

    All the best,

    Karin Mod