My son is struggling, just looking for any advice. Diagnosed at 3 now 6

I'm nearly 50 and still struggle with emotion. I have a great deal more control over my life, now, so I can fix problems if need be and live better prepared.

Communication is exceptionally difficult for us, and there's a ton of theories behind this, but most simply state we are better wired for other ways of processing and communicating rather than left-brained vocabulary-based thinking and the social language which comes from this. And so the ability to internally identify the word for how we are feeling might not get better until we're 40, have a bit of wisdom from spending time reflecting and processing the nuance of complex feelings, which are usually too intense and all at once. If I look back on being young, most of my darker emotions were simply a great deal of frustration, an inability to defend my self, always being misunderstood, falsely accused and psychologically isolated - there weren't too many others who could perceive the world the way I did. It's not genius or a super power, just different & a human experience like any other. But more intense. 

Once we can command vocabulary better, it still strictly functions to exchange ideas and thoughts. I cannot read between the lines but at this point can help others be direct and ask the right questions. But when there's a complex assortment of emotions I cannot untangle or a full 3D vision I can imagine, but not make happen or an overwhelming amount of sensory incoming, or a continued block, interruption, and so on, life can be challenging. All feeling will be intense, just as all sensory perception is more intense. The theory is that we sense the world as 'too real'. And humans have a great deal more than 5 senses. The psychoanalytic theory is because we're simply wired different with out the ability to make hyper-connexions in our left-brain, we don't dull our senses the same or mature the same. So too many incoming signals all at once - unnatural lighting like fluorescent and LEDs, untreated rooms with harsh frequencies or uneven sound-space, unnatural fibres like polyesters, chemically derived scents - these can all be WAY too much to focus. I want to say delicately -there are sounds and VOCs and lights everywhere these days which once only existed for human torture. 

The divide between Autistic and NeuroTypical (majority) begins to widen as children grow. We start to notice everyone speaking in strange ways or in secret codes and feel distant or disconnected. We don't know we might find friends who understand us better who are dyslexic and ADHD and we don't know how to spot them. As we start learning about the world, we might find the way we naturally learn (by full uninterrupted sensory immersion / hyper-focus) isn't allowed, we're not given enough time to really understand the full integrity of a thing / element / problem. And so we can be left with a math riddle, the thing we ate which doesn't sit well (many of us have gut issues), harsh lights no one else seems to have difficulty with, the desire to get lost in something we played with last night we couldn't finish, and a whole list of interruptions, unfinished ideas, thoughts, moments - which all turns into a fog. And then without the ability to communicate what's going on, it's overwhelming. 

Autistic children need to do things one-at-a-time or they can become accident prone. We need help learning to sharpen our senses and Protect them when necessary as we won't ever be able to desensitise. A good way to do this can be in the park - smell trees and grass, plants, begin to explore with the nose. Spend time closing your eyes and just listening to the different sounds and tones the birds make. Spend time really examining nuances of the world from rocks to how the water and clouds move. From here, find books to learn to "calibrate" what your senses are collecting. Play with your food and play with your maths each the same. In my 20's I finally felt I could just exit society and start learning at the library. It wasn't as difficult when I grew up as it is now - schools and society have changed to suit a lifestyle at a pace which feels dizzying. 

Look up Monotropism (if you haven't already)

And Prof. Francesca Happé https://www.kcl.ac.uk/people/francesca-happe is a good start.

I really enjoy this understanding, as well: https://autcollab.org/2020/04/30/autism-the-cultural-immune-system-of-human-societies/?fbclid=IwAR37xumHkRga0hADICA80wxaWycn7_Kr9Oc6uZhcs2zJ0QzamXOI4qwU2bQ

There is a growing understanding that Autistic and ADHD have less GABA, which is the gut-brain axis. I take a nootropics supplement which does seem to help aid focus. But I've also taken steps to prevent unnecessary interruptions to my daily fluidness including still using halogen lights - lightaware.org

I'm nearly 50 and still struggle with emotion. I have a great deal more control over my life, now, so I can fix problems if need be and live better prepared.

Communication is exceptionally difficult for us, and there's a ton of theories behind this, but most simply state we are better wired for other ways of processing and communicating rather than left-brained vocabulary-based thinking and the social language which comes from this. And so the ability to internally identify the word for how we are feeling might not get better until we're 40, have a bit of wisdom from spending time reflecting and processing the nuance of complex feelings, which are usually too intense and all at once. If I look back on being young, most of my darker emotions were simply a great deal of frustration, an inability to defend my self, always being misunderstood, falsely accused and psychologically isolated - there weren't too many others who could perceive the world the way I did. It's not genius or a super power, just different & a human experience like any other. But more intense. 

Once we can command vocabulary better, it still strictly functions to exchange ideas and thoughts. I cannot read between the lines but at this point can help others be direct and ask the right questions. But when there's a complex assortment of emotions I cannot untangle or a full 3D vision I can imagine, but not make happen or an overwhelming amount of sensory incoming, or a continued block, interruption, and so on, life can be challenging. All feeling will be intense, just as all sensory perception is more intense. The theory is that we sense the world as 'too real'. And humans have a great deal more than 5 senses. The psychoanalytic theory is because we're simply wired different with out the ability to make hyper-connexions in our left-brain, we don't dull our senses the same or mature the same. So too many incoming signals all at once - unnatural lighting like fluorescent and LEDs, untreated rooms with harsh frequencies or uneven sound-space, unnatural fibres like polyesters, chemically derived scents - these can all be WAY too much to focus. I want to say delicately -there are sounds and VOCs and lights everywhere these days which once only existed for human torture. 

The divide between Autistic and NeuroTypical (majority) begins to widen as children grow. We start to notice everyone speaking in strange ways or in secret codes and feel distant or disconnected. We don't know we might find friends who understand us better who are dyslexic and ADHD and we don't know how to spot them. As we start learning about the world, we might find the way we naturally learn (by full uninterrupted sensory immersion / hyper-focus) isn't allowed, we're not given enough time to really understand the full integrity of a thing / element / problem. And so we can be left with a math riddle, the thing we ate which doesn't sit well (many of us have gut issues), harsh lights no one else seems to have difficulty with, the desire to get lost in something we played with last night we couldn't finish, and a whole list of interruptions, unfinished ideas, thoughts, moments - which all turns into a fog. And then without the ability to communicate what's going on, it's overwhelming. 

Autistic children need to do things one-at-a-time or they can become accident prone. We need help learning to sharpen our senses and Protect them when necessary as we won't ever be able to desensitise. A good way to do this can be in the park - smell trees and grass, plants, begin to explore with the nose. Spend time closing your eyes and just listening to the different sounds and tones the birds make. Spend time really examining nuances of the world from rocks to how the water and clouds move. From here, find books to learn to "calibrate" what your senses are collecting. Play with your food and play with your maths each the same. In my 20's I finally felt I could just exit society and start learning at the library. It wasn't as difficult when I grew up as it is now - schools and society have changed to suit a lifestyle at a pace which feels dizzying. 

Look up Monotropism (if you haven't already)

And Prof. Francesca Happé https://www.kcl.ac.uk/people/francesca-happe is a good start.

I really enjoy this understanding, as well: https://autcollab.org/2020/04/30/autism-the-cultural-immune-system-of-human-societies/?fbclid=IwAR37xumHkRga0hADICA80wxaWycn7_Kr9Oc6uZhcs2zJ0QzamXOI4qwU2bQ

There is a growing understanding that Autistic and ADHD have less GABA, which is the gut-brain axis. I take a nootropics supplement which does seem to help aid focus. But I've also taken steps to prevent unnecessary interruptions to my daily fluidness including still using halogen lights - lightaware.org