Published on 12, July, 2020
I am parent of a with young autistic lady who also has special needs and ADHS. Her behaviour keeps getting worse at home over last few years. She is jealous of her siblings, doesnt like her carers, having many melt downs in the day, and on the days I am at work she is not so bad but when I enter the house she starts screaming, wants me to sit with her and then she starts crying about various things can hot me- at times asks me to do things which are unrealistic. Carers dont last very long due to her behaviour. I really struggle to put boundries with her now, as she would leave house. or threaten to harm herself. Anyone has had witnessed similar situation and have any wise words for me. She has social worker but the support is too little and too slow.
I'd advise to get ahold of this woman for an online session https://www.instagram.com/thearticulateautistic/
She may be able to help trouble shoot the root causes of all of this and give practical instruction to make lasting change. Depending on her added disabilities it can be really painful to watch others thrive, have the mental capacity to but be limited by a function. In a perfect world she would have a space, or garden or art room or something to just be creative and explore in and perhaps even instruction to become specialised in a thing.
Sensory elements can have enough of an impact daily to bring us to ruin. A full day under artificial light (LED/CFL rather than Halogen), Buzzing and harsh noises, harsh chemically designed scented cleaning products, candles, etc. are enough to bring me to tears and leave me with a migraine (as they're physically assaulting on the biology). Not to mention all the years I had trying to work out what I'm not able to process and end up in pain after consuming. I'm on a mostly FODMAP diet now.
There is cause for concern as the world becomes more consumer focused and autistics / ADHD kids are left without the help they need in a world they cannot desensitise themselves to. Add in only being on the cusp of research. I need Xanax on occasion - I never need an antidepressant and there is a biological reason for this with a brain that accelerates out of control, our GABA resistance can be poor and so we physically and biologically cannot stop the 'noise' in our heads. I've found nootropics daily has really helped.
All my ADHD friends are thriving but not with out medical issues to mind. But they all work out which helps. Hopefully Jamie (the link) can sit with you online and help a bit.
Thankyou you have spotted one important theme " really painful to watch others thrive" this is probably the root cause. I will explore into the link you have shared and will try Nootropics too. She takes antidepressants rather high dose without much help. I appreciate your input. Many thanks
I would like the meds to stop too. but currently psychiatrist, community psychiatric team are involved and they are monitoring things very closely. Can she take nootropics with antidepressants.
She is waiting for a residential home placement. She doesnt want to go but at the same time I feel the pressure from social services. But infact I am finding really difficult to care for her with her constant battles. As this is effecting her younger sisters mental health.
On one hand people say they thrive when they are in own place and on other hand I feel she might get worse. I feel I dont really want her to go but I dont want her to be like this for ever and may be this move will make a difference in her?
Glad to help!
Just a thought, but if you would like to experiment coming off antidepressants, nootropics (a mushroom compound) can actually help for real depression. But it could be possible they're doing more harm than good as 90% of autistic/ADHD individuals I've spoken with over the years say they don't fix a thing, numb the part of the brain we actually are designed to function with and can even create severe depression and suicidal tendencies. They can work on non-autistics who use different lobes with a different set of connexions.
Just a thought! It can't help to try if it's something you feel inclined to. But I would plead the GP for a micro-dose of benzos on the odd occasion she can't sleep or is having severe anxiety. Our household takes them only for these which means not daily.
Good luck! I hope things improve.