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Frazzled Mum - 4.5 year old girl autism?

EH123
over 1 year ago

I feel totally frazzled by my daughters behaviour, which seems to be getting worse.  I've thought there was something a little different about her from the age of 2, but couldn't quite put my finger on it. Anyone out there with experience in Autism in girls, please could you have a read of my notes below and see if you can relate to any of this behaviour? Not sure where to go with this - hope she grows out of the behaviours, seek help etc. 

Here are her little quirks:

Struggles when things don't go as she expects. Very rigid in her expectations - easily throws a tantrum when things don't go as she has planned. This will happen throughout the day.
Follows rules/processes religiously and will point out if anyone is not following properly.
Can't settle well when staying over in a hotel or any location other than home - not good with change. Struggles to settle in a new environment
Very wriggly - struggles to sit still.  Loves a cuddle but will wriggle constantly.
Very, very literal - hard to joke with her as she takes everything so literally. Have noticed she is becoming more and more literal. 
Hugely logical for her age
Has the best memory ever
Gets very easily frustrated - finds it hard to regulate her emotions.
Has no speech issues - speaks very well.
Very clumsy
Went through a biting stage until age 3. Still likes to put things in her mouth. Finds comfort in chewing things/sucking her comforter.
I'd describe her as very sensory sensitive.
Quite destructive - has ruined many toys by drawing on them, biting/chewing them etc. even though she knows not to. She just can't seem to help herself.
Has been potty trained for ages but regressed and has been weeing in her knickers for about a year now (not a full wee but enough to be wet) doesn't bother her at all. Does it every day but nothing we try works. She doesn't know why she does it.
Will make friends with anyone she meets. Even complete strangers. 
Sensitive to sounds - often questions what various sounds are. Covers her ears when she hears sounds she doesn't like - e.g. radiator clicking, hand dryers, owl sound etc. Hates people shouting, her sister singing, amongst many other things.
Asks questions but when they are answered she often doesn't listen and then asks the question again and again. She then gets very frustrated thinking we haven't answered the question.
Has tantrums very easily, gets upset and frustrated.
Always interrupts conversations and gets very angry when she has to wait for her turn to speak.
Shouts a lot. Yet hates others shouting. 
Sucks her comforter to settle herself
Impossible to reason with her because she is so rigid in her thoughts.
Very sensitive to smells - often talks about smells and tells people they smell or highlights bad smells. 
Huge reluctance to try new things - even when it is things she will very clearly like.
Doing well at school. No concerns there, but they have been working on her understanding of emotions for a while now as she struggles with regulating her emotions.
Seems to potentially mask at school, then explode when she gets home. 
Her memory is incredible, never known anything like it! This causes issues in itself as she doesn't forget anything. She will get fixated on baking a cake for example, and will not forget it and will go on about it constantly and no amount of explaining why we can't do it that second helps deflect the situation. She will then get really angry and not listen or understand what we have said. 
She has also always had this fascination with being a chef. Probably from just under 2. She absolutely loves baking and is really good at it!
Some examples of her way of thinking:
We went to TKMaxx for her to choose her Grandma a Christmas present. She picked up this odd angel ornament and decided that was perfect as her Grandma's name is Angel. She showed my husband and he questioned her choice, he said "But Elsie, it doesn't even have any wings" Her response: "But Daddy, Grandma is an Angel and she doesn't have wings, so it is perfect"
Went into the poundstore as she wanted some bath crayons.
"Mummy, where will they be?"
"I don't know Elsie, we just have to keep are eyes open and look out for them" "But Mummy, I don't know how to do that, I can't stop blinking"
Food wise - she is ok at eating but she changes her mind about what she likes constantly and if I chop her toast in the wrong shape, or give her the wrong coloured plate - all hell breaks loose. I think at nursery they used to ask that she at least tried the food, so now when I say she hasn't eaten enough dinner yet she fixates on the words "But I tried" thinking that means she has had enough. The other day - I said, you must eat 5 more pieces of chicken - she got one piece and broke it into 5! So cheeky, but her logic is incredible.  She saw a You Tube video that said pizza was unhealthy, so now she won't touch it.  I also say to her "Make sure you eat your chicken as it makes you grow" She has decided she doesn't want to grow, so now won't eat chicken. 
Parents
  • over 1 year ago

    A simple way to differentiate a tantrum from an autistic meltdown is giving way on the issue. If it is a tantrum the adverse behaviour will stop essentially immediately, but the behaviour will continue for some time if it is an autistic meltdown. Tantrums are caused by not getting what we want, an autistic meltdown is caused by a total inability to cope with an emotional state - usually negative feelings.

Reply
  • over 1 year ago

    A simple way to differentiate a tantrum from an autistic meltdown is giving way on the issue. If it is a tantrum the adverse behaviour will stop essentially immediately, but the behaviour will continue for some time if it is an autistic meltdown. Tantrums are caused by not getting what we want, an autistic meltdown is caused by a total inability to cope with an emotional state - usually negative feelings.

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