Published on 12, July, 2020
My daughter is 6 and has been referred for an autism assessment by the SENCO at school. One major trait which everyone sees is her "literal thinking".
Some examples:
- "I don't need an 'extra hand' I already have 2."
- "I've counted 60 seconds and you're not ready, so you 'lied' about 'in n a minute'."
- "Everyone in the world doesn't have a bookbag so how can 'everyone' bring their bookbags in tomorrow?"
Etc...
Now I'm not disputing that she may be autistic, it's been on my radar for a while as her Dad is autistic, she flaps her hands/stims, it is very difficult to have a conversation with her that doesn't become tangential and she has no filter and is extremely blunt! But to me the literalness seems like cheekiness a lot of the time. She knows when you ask her what is meant by 'do you need a hand?' etc by she still comments literally every time.
Is there a line? I would have expected her not to understand the meaning if this was truly an autistic trait, and I'm not sure how to deal with it right now. Does anyone have any advice? Does anyone or their child react the same even though they do have an understanding of the intended meaning? I'm struggling a bit to understand.
Thank you
There are lots of different responses here, so I’ll just say what I’ve noticed in myself. When someone uses a phrase non-literally, I often see the literal version in my head, often in a picture of some kind. And often this makes me laugh, even if just to myself. Sometimes, when I have learned the meaning of a non-literal phrase, these pictures in my head incorporate the non-literal meaning too. But sometimes the phrases are bizarre, so I just have the literal image and the non-literal meaning separately. Sometimes I will comment on the literal meaning, even though I know the non-literal meaning, to include the person I’m talking to in my enjoyment of the phrase. Now I’m older I’m more skilled at knowing when this is appropriate and who with.
The times when I actually misunderstand non-literal phrases are the more subtle ones, and this happens quite often. Ones where it’s not so much a phrase that is used repeatedly and I can learn, but more like, ‘When you get home we’ll sort it’ but meaning ‘When we’re both not busy and at home we’ll sort it.’
I think something I found helpful growing up and actually a lot at university, when I lived away from my family for the first time( who were quite careful and aware about my communication needs so it was never really an issue), was clear explanations without judgement about when I had stepped over a line. So if there are situations, like when we’re busy or in a rush, and I bring out the literal meaning of something for humour, my husband will let me know that the rush is making this not the best time for that.
It’s a really interesting discussion though because I also work with autistic students in a secondary school and almost all of them love to make jokes about non-literal phrases, but only with teachers they know well enough to know they won’t get into trouble for it. They say being able to have jokes like that is one of the things they like about those teachers too! I wonder if there’s any research on it, maybe as someone said above, as a way to have connection with others.