Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I'm a parent-carer, along with my husband, to our two autistic children, aged 10 and 6. Eldest recently diagnosed, youngest referred for assessment, so we are still learning about autism, but feel we have a good understanding of our kids' specific strengths and needs.
There are lots of challenges at home and school, but the biggest impact on our family life is sleep. Both kids need to have husband or I with them to fall asleep, both are anxious and despite our reassurances, won't even try falling asleep with us if they can't see us, so not even in the next room. If they wake in the night they come in to bed with us. This has been happening for over three years and all the advice we've been given we have tried and is aimed at neurotypical kids (as with most parenting advice IMHO).
Has anyone else experienced this and can offer any suggestions?
Thanks
I have an Autistic+ADHD daughter, and I’m also Autistic. I can appreciate the difficulty you have, as I’ve experienced it myself. However, putting the child to bed, and leaving them is good advice. It does work in the end, but it’s a very long and hard road! I can’t stress that enough.I used to make sure she went to bed at the same time every night, and with the same routine. I would leave the room. If she was stressed or restless, or crying or whatever….I would go back, lay her down, say the nighttime phrases and go. Believe me when I say I was up and down all night to early morning sometimes. Persistence paid off.
All children are different, and some parents feel unable to leave the child. I know too many parents who’ve held, rocked or slept with their children, or allowed them to get in bed with them. It may help temporarily, but it’s going to make things harder in the long run.
Hopefully someone else here will give you some more options to try.