Published on 12, July, 2020
My teen daughter is struggling mentally. Over the past few days, she has been struggling a lot, especially with school. Unfortunately it has taken a bad turn. She has hurt her arms, biting and cutting. There is so much going on and she's totally overwhelmed. School has changed so shes not going in on Fridays. On Tuesdays they are getting rid of her favorite staff and putting her with someone else for Maths because she struggles when it's the end and the teacher has to leave. This has been an ongoing problem and will always end in an incident. Today she absconded from school again. Her timetable is also changing to add another lesson and just to change it round for her.
Her dad's situation isn't making things easier. He's been talking to her, comparing her to her siblings and it's having a negative impact. They are also changing the bedroom living arrangements around. This triggered a huge meltdown.
Whilst this is all going on, she also thinks she's messed up, she wishes she was dead at times so she could escape it all. She also she hasn't been sleeping, maybe 2 hours a night. She doesn't like the way she looks, she says she's too skinny and wants to be like her sister. She doesn't know what to do with herself. The reason why I'm asking for help and ideas is because today was one of her worst days, I believe. School had to call an ambulance when she absconded because they thought she was going to hurt herself. She was trying to walk into the road, onto a motorway, also attacked staff, and they thought she was going to jump onto the train tracks when a train was coming. She's really struggling and all tactics and things that would usually help, doesn't work anymore. She won't talk to staff about her issues as much so they are in the dark quite a bit. She's also not socialising with us and stays in her bedroom. I don't know what to do. Any help is appreciated in advance.
I've been in a similar place to where your daughter is at. I strongly advise that she see a psychologist. There are psychologists that specialize in working with those with autism and other disabilities, so maybe try looking for one in your area. It will be hard, and she probably won't want to talk to the person at all, but with the help of a professional brain person, hopefully she can get help. I'm so sorry she is going through so much, you must be so heartbroken for her. I am praying for her and your family. <3
Thank you. She went through this but way worse mast year, which is why I'm worried it's going in the same direction. She won't speak to anyone. She is talking to her taxi driver about school. They have a great bond. Best thing I've ever seen. But like I said, she will refuse because she's seen so many people and they either made it worse or didn't work so she has given up
I have a thought that is just confusing me. In school she will hurt staff. Today for example she walked up to the member of staff and started punching her. She knew she would have to be held and I think that part of her likes it. Obviously not the hold itself because it hurts but having that feeling that someone else is in control because she doesn't like feeling out of control of things.
I've noticed that she will repeatedly hurt staff, knowing she'll get held, then when she's calm they will let go, or if she's being too aggressive they'll let go, after that she will hurt them even more. Its like she sort of wants to be held and have that comfort. Today she was held too many times to count and every time they let go she would do something dangerous or tried hitting one of them. They then linked arms and she was fine until they let go. She likes hugs and she is coming up giving me some, when she never used too. Am I going crazy or could I be onto something?
Perhaps a referral to occupational therapy, they may not necessarily need to see her but could give some suggestions. I'm also aware that there are weighted vests, which might work better for her as its fitted on her body.
There is also deep pressure therapy but I don't know enough about it to give you any more details im afraid , maybe school SENCo can give you more information on this today.
All these changes at school must be so hard for her. There really should be lots of preparation before school make changes even if it is for her benefit in the long run.
Good luck with phone call.