Published on 12, July, 2020
My son is potentially on the autistic spectrum (awaiting diagnosis), he has also been suffering with anxiety tremendously since September. It all started following the second lockdown of schools, when the time came to return he became very self conscious about his appearance and struggled to make it to school for many days. He changed schools in September and is now in year 8 at High School (we have a 3 tier system where we live), he has only made it to school for 1 day since the start of September. Anxiety was huge in regards to the school environment and his appearance. Prior to this he had been leaving the house and was engaging fairly well with family life. Over recent weeks he has now started to feel very anxious about leaving the house, has not been able to make it to see friends and is now very worried about going out or doing anything. The most he can do is a dog walk once a week. He has also started to want to eat in his room and not engage.
We had a call yesterday from CAHMS and they offered us a virtual apt on Monday, his first reaction was "do I need to leave the house", my answer no, then he said do I have to on camera - of course my answer was yes. His answer was no I am not doing it. I suggested he be off camera, and listen but no he is adamant. If I keep on at him he will dig his heels in even more, at the moment he is happy for me to talk to them but if I keep on at him this may change.
Does anyone have any experience of CAHMS and if they will conduct an apt with just myself, obviously want to get a diagnosis potentially of what is going on for him so don't want to spoil the appointment but also need to know if I have to nag at him that he has to be there and listen.
He really struggles with strangers, really struggles with talking and opening up to people and i am very concerned about his mental health. I have heard so many horror stores about CAHMS just looking for some re-assurance they may be able to conduct this first apt without him as they were adamant on the phone he had to be there.
Hi there,I was under CAMHS many moons ago, from primary age, as such there may be possibility for you to have a few sessions by yourself in order to show a developmental history and the backstory and identify anything that may have been a trigger but ultimatley there will come a point they need to speak with your son, anxiety is horrible, i myself was in a point where i wouldn't leave the house (and in most cases i still dont (with the exception for work and going to the shop), my anxiety came from bullying in school as i was unfortunate enough to experience bullying through all education stages and misunderstandings and hypocrisy from adult leaders too, this started my issues and then they grew as sadly with some of the "lovely" citizens of the UK that love to be anti social have caused immense fear when im out and about which has given cause for me to walk around with my keys in my fist because im terrified and I am hyper vigilant when outside.
I digress and back to the point, it may be possible to have your first few sessions with no camera on, and it will allow you to speak with the CAMHS practicioner via voice and build up a rapport first, this may help your son build up confidence and trust in this person, and allow engagement, and then once he is ready and comfortable with this new person, he may decide to have the camera on.
I feel it may be a trust thing for him, if he has experienced any negativity such as bullying or anything, it really does hammer your trust, so doing it the way outlines above could make it easier on his anxiety, alternitivley, if you have a session with CAMHS and they allow it yourself, you could ask if there is anyway they could start a session by asking questions about his special interest to pull engagement then move off from there for example if he likes fortnite: "did you see the latest fortnite skin? what do you think of it?" then it would pull him into a dialogue and bring an air of relatability.
I am sorry if I have waffled on horribly, I am still working on my own written communication!
Kind Regards,
Yeke