9.5yr old Aspergers son struggling at school - advice sought

Hi everyone,

Just wondering if anyone can offer any advice/shared experience? My 9.5yr old son was diagnosed with Aspergers in May this year and is currently in a large mainstram state primary school (currently in year 5 - they suggested we seek a diagnosis when he was in yr 4). He is bright and meeting or exceeding the required standards at school (handwriting not quite!) but is exhibiting lots of negative behviour at school. His form teacher seems really understanding and sympathetic and has put in place lots of tools to help - wobble cushion, red/green cards to show his feelings, checking in with him frequently to avoid meltdowns - but he doesn't seem to get the same level of support in other lessons. They have put them in ability classes for maths and my son is in the top class, but the teacher is not his form teacher and she doesn't appear to be able or willing to work with the tools the form teacher has put in place. He is with lots of children from other classes (it's a 3 form entry school) which he finds unsettling, and not sat with any of his classmates, and this less familiar teacher who doesn't "get him". I'm not sure they have any teaching assistants in the maths class, whereas his regular form has a full time assistant on account of another boy in the class having an EHCP. Today my son threw his maths book across the room in frustration and was told by the teacher to "get out of my classroom" - he wasn't sure what to do so stayed sitting until she yelled "get out" to him and he left in tears and found a corner of the school to sit in.

I'm not sure if this is exactly what happened as its the word of a 9.5 yr old, but it sounds disturbing and I am worried that he isn't getting the support he needs across all the time he spends in school. We plan to move him to a small, nuturing private school for secondary, but could look to move him sooner, as they start from reception and have spaces in year 5 currently. I feel that he has such potential that is not being realised because he struggles to manage his emotions at school, whereas at a smaller school (about 12 in a class) the teacher would have more time to support him. The advice I'm looking for is whether I am being an over-protective mother who is blind to her son's naughtiness, or whether actually the school is just not providing him with the support he needs in all lessons. He loves his current school and his friends there and gets upset at the thought of leaving them, which makes me feel we should wait until year 7 to move him to the private school, but I can't help feel that at a smaller school he might get more attention and the opportunity to really excel with his gifts rather than be constantly upset and punished for his behaiour. Apparently he was kept in for most of lunch break because of his behaviour and this only worsens his behaviour, not improves it.

I am seeing his teacher on Thursday and will talk through my concerns but I really don't know if I am expecting too much of the school or whether actually they just aren't addressing his needs. They told him his needs didn't warrant an EHCP, but it doesn't seem as though they are meeting his needs currently.

Thanks for reading.