Concerned dad of non verbal child

Hello 

our son was probably the brightestof all our kids around first birthday or so lost early language he had and regressed in his development.  It was felt he may have had a form of infection that may have hit him at a crucial time in his development. This was all a long long time ago and many tests followed as I was in the NHS and well connected to experts. EEGs Blood tests CAT scans and others.  A diagnosis of Autism was made early on and while difficult at the time in the long run it helped.  Our adult son is 28 now he is non verbal and has epilepsey and other associated LD but Autism is the primary diagnosis.  He continues to live with us and is supported by us and his wider loving family siblings etc. Unfortunately our son never regained verbal language and is classically autistic.  Become familiar with the Triad of Impairments. That said our son communicates all the time its just in a different way through gestures postures eye movements sounds use of PECS and also a communication IPAD.  Our son is heavily dependent upon others but can do a great deal for himself if supported 1 to 1. Adjusting to his disability as a father of three when my other children were able and well was very hard at first for me.  I was angry and resentful and probably fearful as a Dad.  Talking with other Dads of children with a disability helped a lot and my wife and i went on to lecture on this topic at University post graduate courses.

Advice getting a diagnosis of what is going on is key.  Id certainly move heaven and earth to get a SALT involved with your son as early as possible.  

Create a file of all letters and correspondance re your son with health and education.  Get organised your going to have to hav records of all that goes on.  

Be weary of people who describe themselves with having expertise in Autism. Some professionals are generalists and have limited experience.  Trust your extincts the good people in health social care and education are there you will know them when you find them.

Diagnosis Key, Involve SALT and a good OT early as possible.  Education experts who really understand communication and alternative methods of learning can be worth their weight in gold.

It is hard with a classically autistic child in terms of affection and how they share feelings and needs and emotions.  Sometimes this is done in very subtle ways so you have to be prepared to evolve your expectations as a parent.  It can be tough accept offers of respite from trusted individuals early.  It will make you a better parent if you can refresh your batteries occassionally.  Music songs dance play is a super way to get communication going.  Many use lap tops these days also.

Our son does not have friends in the conventional sense but again you have to change your perceptions how he influences the world and impacts on others is a continued inspiration to us.  

Good luck to you keep talking to others all children to go down different paths i learned not to keep comparing to others either his siblings or others but celebrating all achievements made.  Birthdays and traditional celebrations like Christmas can be a challenge also. Clinical Psychologists if you can access can be very useful once all medical investigations have been done to ensure medically well. 

Good luck, Never Give Up, Give yourself and partner permission for regualr breaks. 

MP

Hello 

our son was probably the brightestof all our kids around first birthday or so lost early language he had and regressed in his development.  It was felt he may have had a form of infection that may have hit him at a crucial time in his development. This was all a long long time ago and many tests followed as I was in the NHS and well connected to experts. EEGs Blood tests CAT scans and others.  A diagnosis of Autism was made early on and while difficult at the time in the long run it helped.  Our adult son is 28 now he is non verbal and has epilepsey and other associated LD but Autism is the primary diagnosis.  He continues to live with us and is supported by us and his wider loving family siblings etc. Unfortunately our son never regained verbal language and is classically autistic.  Become familiar with the Triad of Impairments. That said our son communicates all the time its just in a different way through gestures postures eye movements sounds use of PECS and also a communication IPAD.  Our son is heavily dependent upon others but can do a great deal for himself if supported 1 to 1. Adjusting to his disability as a father of three when my other children were able and well was very hard at first for me.  I was angry and resentful and probably fearful as a Dad.  Talking with other Dads of children with a disability helped a lot and my wife and i went on to lecture on this topic at University post graduate courses.

Advice getting a diagnosis of what is going on is key.  Id certainly move heaven and earth to get a SALT involved with your son as early as possible.  

Create a file of all letters and correspondance re your son with health and education.  Get organised your going to have to hav records of all that goes on.  

Be weary of people who describe themselves with having expertise in Autism. Some professionals are generalists and have limited experience.  Trust your extincts the good people in health social care and education are there you will know them when you find them.

Diagnosis Key, Involve SALT and a good OT early as possible.  Education experts who really understand communication and alternative methods of learning can be worth their weight in gold.

It is hard with a classically autistic child in terms of affection and how they share feelings and needs and emotions.  Sometimes this is done in very subtle ways so you have to be prepared to evolve your expectations as a parent.  It can be tough accept offers of respite from trusted individuals early.  It will make you a better parent if you can refresh your batteries occassionally.  Music songs dance play is a super way to get communication going.  Many use lap tops these days also.

Our son does not have friends in the conventional sense but again you have to change your perceptions how he influences the world and impacts on others is a continued inspiration to us.  

Good luck to you keep talking to others all children to go down different paths i learned not to keep comparing to others either his siblings or others but celebrating all achievements made.  Birthdays and traditional celebrations like Christmas can be a challenge also. Clinical Psychologists if you can access can be very useful once all medical investigations have been done to ensure medically well. 

Good luck, Never Give Up, Give yourself and partner permission for regualr breaks. 

MP