Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi there
So my daughter hasn't been medically diagnosed, but after I approached the school and drew their attention to what they were totally oblivious to, she was discussed at the County council SEAT meeting and based on my list of concerns, they were in agreeance that she is most likely high functioning autistic. I've done lots of research to see what I could do to help and have seen a marked improvement in her since starting her on a cocktail of vitamin D, Omega 3 and pro biotic supplements. The one area we seem not to be able to improve on however is her eating habits. When she was a very little and first venturing into eating family meals, she was a very fast eater. She barely chewed her food and it was gone! We had to try and slow this down after she was diagnosed with GURD following many months of her having vomiting episodes during the night, first thought to be CVS (Cyclic vomiting syndrome). Now she eats so slowly that it is the norm for her to take between an hour and 90 minutes to eat a meal and this is with constant reminders from me and her dad to eat, chew, stop daydreaming etc. I will confess that both of us are guilty of getting angry with her. With the best will in the world it's difficult not to get frustrated. We are very worried though that if we carry on this way she could form a negative association with food which doesn't bare thinking about. We just don't know what to do for the best. If left to her own devices, she could, I'm sure, sit at the table till bedtime with a cold meal in front of her, but because of the GURD we cannot allow this to happen. Does anyone have any experience with this, advice or tried and tested methods that could work.
Thanks
Kerri
Months of vomiting would make me scared of food, to be honest.
I have dietary issues. Not just a gluten allergy but various high-fibre foods. I need to fast one day a week (I eat a little trail mix and have an apple) - I cannot digest things properly. I eat 2 small meals a day and pick at things in between. I was undiagnosed my whole childhood and had severe problems but was dismissed. You, on the other hand, sound like a good parent. So perhaps there's a better way to feed her.
I've had several GPs advise me to eat small amounts 6x a day. So that's a whole salad spread out half the day and a banana and then maybe an egg and then a little something else later.
There's no rule book saying both male and female regardless of size or weight should all eat the same portions per day. In fact, Jane Goodall ate a few bananas every day for months - no years on end. She was healthy and happy and lived quite long. Kids don't need much. Maybe give her a small something for breakfast and then let her ask for food when she's hungry.
How would your daughter feel about a protein smoothie? or just a handful (her handful, not yours) of nuts and an hour later some veg? I would give her much less and allow her to properly digest it.
Food sensitivity is archaic at best to work out. Not to mention the empty calories in nutrient depleted and GM foods. I have issues they can't even diagnose. Gluten allergies are under-funded research (and the government allows a micro-percent of gluten in 'gluten free' foods!!). Fibre issues under-funded. Candida, the list goes on. It's great you've got her on vitamins, but be cautious with the Vitamin D. I've opted for a kids multi with my son and for myself. My son takes Ashwaganda instead of Vitamin D (along with 1/2 a multi -the dose is not the same for all body types) but only every other day and we did it instead of anti-depressants which made a massive difference. He's now 25. Taking Vitamin D daily, was an overdose for him and giving him severe headaches.
When I was young, undiagnosed issues meant I wasn't even getting the nutrients I needed, as this is part of how gluten was interfering with my whole biology, so no amount of vitamins could help (probiotics are different). Luckily, children regenerate better than adults.
All this to say, at dinner, give her the amount she'll be able to eat in the same time it takes you. This could be 1/6th of her normal portion. If she's still hungry, allow her to have a small amount more in the living room with you perhaps. Then maybe a piece of fruit.
I'd pick your battles with this. Is there a reason she needs to sit at the table to eat while you sit there and wait with her? I might air put health first. Worry about social 'obligations' later. Go about having your evening. It might relieve everyones frustration and she can eat small or as needed wherever.
My grandmother told me to never overwhelm my son - especially with food. Children eat when they're hungry. Teaching them to wait a little is fine, but humans were not naturally designed for a Three set-like-clockwork meal a day.
Hi JuniperFromGallifrey
Thank you so very much for taking the time to respond. You know I had never even considered the little and often approach and I think that could definitely be a way forward.
As a child I never ate at the table unless it was a special occasion. It was always a tray on the knee Infront of the box in our house. My husband on the other hand religiously ate at the table so this was his preference. We do find though that when we were letting the kids eat their lunch Infront of the TV, Emma would zone out focusing in whatever she was watching and not eat at all, hence eating away from the TV in the kitchen.
Dietary wise, Emma was born severely dairy allergic reacting to my *** milk. She had terrible silent reflux until I took her to a herbalist at 6 weeks old after being dismissed as a neurotic mother by the doctors. It was the herbalist who realised she had an allergy.
This last year as a family we have gone vegan/plant based for our health, so most of what we eat is made from scratch. I'm pretty confident she gets good nutrition, with lots of fruit, veg and pulses.
I am definitely going to try a little and often approach though once she's home from school and at weekends/ holidays.
Thanks again for giving me an alternative.
JuniperFromGallifreyWell I have been dairy intolerant since my childhood, but would still have a little and just suffer the consiquences (itching and throat mucus), so this was the first thing I stopped eating after seeing the herbalist. Within a couple of days she was a different baby. Unfortunately some damage had already been done to her esophagus from the silent reflux though and then of course all the vomiting from age 18 months to 30 months also took its toll.
FODMAP was never mentioned, but she seems ok with most everything other than she had a slight reaction to celery a couple of times before I realised.
Anyway, I will start tomorrow with trying things differently and see how we go. Feeling optimistic