Incident involving police

Quite often children may push us away but managing to join your child and play a game or whatever they like to do together on their terms is really important with someone on the autistic spectrum.

Hi, I can hear how stressful these events are and understand your reluctance to involve the police, but have to say that most officers I have met are much better informed now and keen to be led by you the parent (or staff) on what they can do to assist.  I don't know how old your daughter is but I do know that lots of social stories and Road safety training can really help, particularly as scanning through the posts it looks like she is quite articulate.  It sounds like the staffing levels are quite high for this off site activity and I imagine that her teacher and management will review their policy; having a staff member needing to use the toilet may or may not be avoidable, but it seems that not having her allocated support initially could have triggered her wandering.  She is showing some signs of feeling distressed and out of control, are you getting support from you child and adolescent mental health services?  I think that it's very important to consider the context of events which it is hard to know on this forum and I hope you have good communication with school and people supporting you.  Just remember not to blame yourself and that whilst she's at school they will ensure her safety and manage the situation.

Thank you. We don't believe she is having seizures because she knows all the little details about what happened but then when it comes to something that increases her adrenaline, she can't remember it as clear. But I guess that's normal. 

Thank you, we have seen lots of people regarding her behavior and why she does things like that. I remember one time, we took her bike away from her and next thing later she is in hospital regarding her mental health because she tied something round her throat. She also took a knife out into the public and called the police herself. It certainly isn't normal. We have thought about it being attention seeking but she wasn't the nice little girl she used to be and she never wanted attention. It could be now but the amount of times we've seen specialists and they haven't helped. They thought it was a hormonal imbalance to start off with but no. Then they thought she had ADHD but no. Then they thought ODD but no, then they thought about her being dyslexic but still no. Then they thought about autism and that was it, she was diagnosed. I agree that there must be something else going on. Some stuff just isn't normal. 

The school does a risk assessment before they leave to take the young child out. The child will usually have control about where they go and what route to take and what staff they could have if they don't want the one that is usually with them. The school does have an OT therapist which is coming in to help with her and what they can do to help regards to sensory needs and the best course of action. 

You're completely right about it not being normal! 

When was her last MRI scan? Is she having seizures? Does she recall everywhere she's been? If she's able to tell you everything that happened then perhaps she's not blacking out. 

Let's say she wants to feel known, understood and has been struggling with being treated with disregard, contempt and emotional distance. Having to show up for neuro-imaging scans as a consequence might prompt less dangerous ways of trying to find a real connexion. 

Humans at my beckon call is not a real connexion, it's meaningless. It's even enraging and suicide inducing if it's as close as I'll ever get to others and it's how tyrants like Henry VIII are designed. :( If this is the case, you might want to try a church group for kids her age. It can help fill these deeper voids society isn't capable of connecting into. 

I've read a lot of your posts, and I think you have been through and are going through hell trying to understand and cope with your daughter's behaviour. I feel for you. Even though we are parents, we are still human beings. There is a limit to what we can endure psychologically and emotionally. Are you getting any personal support? Your daughter have everyone at her beck and call (parents, teachers, support staff, Police)... BUT who do you have? WHO is supporting you during these stressful incidents?

I always think about the instructions for parents that, in the event of an aeroplane crash, to put on their own oxygen masks before they put on their children's' masks.

I've done some basic research online and I haven't found any examples of this kind of behaviour in autists of your daughter's age. I am autistic and I didn't engage in this type of dangerous behaviour. It could be that there is some other psychosis motivating this behaviour. I think it might be a mistake to link her behaviour to autism when it actually could be bad behaviour (to get attention) or behaviour motivated by some other unknown psychosis. Her behaviour is not normal. It's dangerous. She is not only putting herself in danger, but she is endangering the lives of other people. Imagine the driver of the car who hits her while she is wandering in the middle of the road... it doesn't bear thinking about how much mental anguish hitting someone would inflict upon a driver innocently driving their car (not to mention the potential physical damage).

The staff at the school must be constantly on edge and stressed out in case something happens to her. I know how it feels when someone in our care has an accident. It's devastating. And for the Police, too, it must be frustrating to be called out to spend time on this kind of incident.

My guess is that it could very well be attention-seeking behaviour on her part. Have you considered this? Because, the truth is, that it does seem to work for her. She gets everyone's complete attention. Her parents, her siblings, the school staff, the police officers, ambulance crews... everyone at her beck and call.

If a child is used to getting excess attention because of a disability (or other reason) which means that parents over-compensate the amount of attention the child receives, then as that child grows older it becomes traumatic to them if they feel that the special attention they've enjoyed is reduced. It is what they are used to.  As a consequence, they may start to exhibit behaviour that increases the amount of attention. And usually, dangerous, destructive behaviour is the most successful way of getting an immediate increase in attention.

Is she receiving any psychological interventions? I think you need a break from all this for your own sanity.

Whatever it is, I hope you give yourself as much self-care and attention as you give your daughter. You are a human being too.

You deserve to be content, at peace and happy. 

I have been reading some of your posts and I can imagine how stressful you life should be!  You are such a wonderful mum!  

With regard to the school, is she is in a private special school or a state run one? I do not know anything about special schools, but was wondering if there is any therapy that the school can provide to help with the situation. Has a psychiatrist seen your child? If not it might be worth pushing that route to see what is the underlying issue and how to address it. Also given the security risk involved perhaps it might be worth looking at safer places that the school can opt for when looking to take the pupils outdoors.  

i never heard of this happening to anyone, it must of been frighting to once your found out. 

It was, I felt useless, knowing that my daughter is nearly an hour away from home and that she is really struggling. I couldn't do anything. I just had to wait until school called me back saying she's safe. I just don't know what to do. I'm actually really struggling with her now. I'm pretty sure it won't be the last time school will have to have police involved. Twice since starting back now. And we had to call the police a few times during the summer. We can't have the police involved because they will take her away because it sounds like we can't keep her safe but this was in school so I hope it will be fine. 

sounds so terrifying