Incident involving police

I've read a lot of your posts, and I think you have been through and are going through hell trying to understand and cope with your daughter's behaviour. I feel for you. Even though we are parents, we are still human beings. There is a limit to what we can endure psychologically and emotionally. Are you getting any personal support? Your daughter have everyone at her beck and call (parents, teachers, support staff, Police)... BUT who do you have? WHO is supporting you during these stressful incidents?

I always think about the instructions for parents that, in the event of an aeroplane crash, to put on their own oxygen masks before they put on their children's' masks.

I've done some basic research online and I haven't found any examples of this kind of behaviour in autists of your daughter's age. I am autistic and I didn't engage in this type of dangerous behaviour. It could be that there is some other psychosis motivating this behaviour. I think it might be a mistake to link her behaviour to autism when it actually could be bad behaviour (to get attention) or behaviour motivated by some other unknown psychosis. Her behaviour is not normal. It's dangerous. She is not only putting herself in danger, but she is endangering the lives of other people. Imagine the driver of the car who hits her while she is wandering in the middle of the road... it doesn't bear thinking about how much mental anguish hitting someone would inflict upon a driver innocently driving their car (not to mention the potential physical damage).

The staff at the school must be constantly on edge and stressed out in case something happens to her. I know how it feels when someone in our care has an accident. It's devastating. And for the Police, too, it must be frustrating to be called out to spend time on this kind of incident.

My guess is that it could very well be attention-seeking behaviour on her part. Have you considered this? Because, the truth is, that it does seem to work for her. She gets everyone's complete attention. Her parents, her siblings, the school staff, the police officers, ambulance crews... everyone at her beck and call.

If a child is used to getting excess attention because of a disability (or other reason) which means that parents over-compensate the amount of attention the child receives, then as that child grows older it becomes traumatic to them if they feel that the special attention they've enjoyed is reduced. It is what they are used to.  As a consequence, they may start to exhibit behaviour that increases the amount of attention. And usually, dangerous, destructive behaviour is the most successful way of getting an immediate increase in attention.

Is she receiving any psychological interventions? I think you need a break from all this for your own sanity.

Whatever it is, I hope you give yourself as much self-care and attention as you give your daughter. You are a human being too.

You deserve to be content, at peace and happy. 

Thank you, we have seen lots of people regarding her behavior and why she does things like that. I remember one time, we took her bike away from her and next thing later she is in hospital regarding her mental health because she tied something round her throat. She also took a knife out into the public and called the police herself. It certainly isn't normal. We have thought about it being attention seeking but she wasn't the nice little girl she used to be and she never wanted attention. It could be now but the amount of times we've seen specialists and they haven't helped. They thought it was a hormonal imbalance to start off with but no. Then they thought she had ADHD but no. Then they thought ODD but no, then they thought about her being dyslexic but still no. Then they thought about autism and that was it, she was diagnosed. I agree that there must be something else going on. Some stuff just isn't normal. 

Hi, I can hear how stressful these events are and understand your reluctance to involve the police, but have to say that most officers I have met are much better informed now and keen to be led by you the parent (or staff) on what they can do to assist.  I don't know how old your daughter is but I do know that lots of social stories and Road safety training can really help, particularly as scanning through the posts it looks like she is quite articulate.  It sounds like the staffing levels are quite high for this off site activity and I imagine that her teacher and management will review their policy; having a staff member needing to use the toilet may or may not be avoidable, but it seems that not having her allocated support initially could have triggered her wandering.  She is showing some signs of feeling distressed and out of control, are you getting support from you child and adolescent mental health services?  I think that it's very important to consider the context of events which it is hard to know on this forum and I hope you have good communication with school and people supporting you.  Just remember not to blame yourself and that whilst she's at school they will ensure her safety and manage the situation.

Hi, I can hear how stressful these events are and understand your reluctance to involve the police, but have to say that most officers I have met are much better informed now and keen to be led by you the parent (or staff) on what they can do to assist.  I don't know how old your daughter is but I do know that lots of social stories and Road safety training can really help, particularly as scanning through the posts it looks like she is quite articulate.  It sounds like the staffing levels are quite high for this off site activity and I imagine that her teacher and management will review their policy; having a staff member needing to use the toilet may or may not be avoidable, but it seems that not having her allocated support initially could have triggered her wandering.  She is showing some signs of feeling distressed and out of control, are you getting support from you child and adolescent mental health services?  I think that it's very important to consider the context of events which it is hard to know on this forum and I hope you have good communication with school and people supporting you.  Just remember not to blame yourself and that whilst she's at school they will ensure her safety and manage the situation.

Quite often children may push us away but managing to join your child and play a game or whatever they like to do together on their terms is really important with someone on the autistic spectrum.