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Worried and in need of advice please.

Tim'smom
over 11 years ago

Hi everyone, we went to the meeting last week with school regaurding my son's difficulties.Tim is in year 10, mainstream Comprehensive. Once again we explained 'how it is' for an autistic child as they think they know but hav'nt got a clue. I was in the meeting for hour and half going over the facts that my son was still struggling there, espescially as its time for him to start revising for tests that are approaching. I was in tears of desperation as i once again explained Tim's situation. I finally seemed  to be getting through to his head of year, however the other teacher present, who is supposed to be the head of special needs, was'nt as understanding as usual. She kept stressing that Tim 'seemed' to be coping academically. Bearing in mind his I.Q test came back as 76. I explained his acheivements were due to Tim putting in 110% and burning himself out in the process due to lack of help from them.He has had very little support whatsoever.

By the end of the meeting they decided to allow Tim to integrate back into school slowly, after being home for a week. They gave me a time out card where he can show and go to a quiet place if needed. they promised to sort out his work experience, which has been worrying him yet he was still expected to do, and all round they said they would try and be more understanding of his needs referring him to the school anger management fella and helping him with homework, teaming Tim up with a 'buddy' in lessons, i left feeling exhausted and once again preying i had got through.

To cut a long story short, Tim went in Monday half a day, he went in Tuesday. Tuesday evening his mood became more and more agitated and he said he was'nt going to school. As the evening progressed i began getting less and less eye contact and he became 'mute'. I persevered and calmly spoke to him, asking him what had triggered him to once again feel as he was. He said he was'nt going to school Wednesday, when i asked why? He flipped and punched the wall, he was swearing and screaming how much he hated school and they don't understand him. It's  heartbreaking to see him so distressed.

Once he had calmed a little he told me he was expected to stand in front on the class the following morning and read out loude a letter they had written the day before. I was angry to think i had trusted the school ,once again, yet they STILL did'nt understand. I took Tim to school in the car yesterday and waited with him to once again see the head of year and the head of special needs.

Well Tim completely lost controll in the meeting, he punched the desk,  was swearing at the teacher, crying uncontrollably, and for the first time he displayed how desperate he was feeling to a teacher. She was shocked as Tim shouted ''he wasnt going back to that school ever because they did'nt listen''. By this time the head of special needs changed her tune. She started rambling all this information about having to get permission to reduce his subjects, she mentioned home tutoring, and to be honest im totally 'lost' as to what is going to happen. Tim is once again at home with me at the moment untill something can be sorted.

Can anyone please help. Where do i go from here? Do you think Tim would be better with home schooling? As at the moment he is truly unhappy. I really don't think he would cope with moving to another school, thats the only reason i hav'nt took that option sooner. Many thanks for listening, any advice extremely appreciated.. Sally..

Parents
  • over 11 years ago

    Hiya 

    Has Tim been reffered to your local CAMHS team by either his Doctor or The School? Im guessing the School havent, they dont seem competent enough!!! If not this NEEDS to be your next step. I went through exactly what your going through only my son was in Primary School at the time. (Hes now in High School and being treated like a Human Being). The teachers Pretend they know how to deal with additional needs, i think they see it as a weakness if they say they dont. There needs to be more training and awareness for them. But first you need to push Tims G.P. to get him referred to CAMHS (If you havent already). If you have then you need to be getting on to the CAMHS teams back for some help and Support...Its a classic case of the authorities brushing it under the carpet, You need to be constantly ringing until they get fed up with you and leave there cumfy chairs to deal with it. I hope ive sort of helped. Good luck 

Reply
  • over 11 years ago

    Hiya 

    Has Tim been reffered to your local CAMHS team by either his Doctor or The School? Im guessing the School havent, they dont seem competent enough!!! If not this NEEDS to be your next step. I went through exactly what your going through only my son was in Primary School at the time. (Hes now in High School and being treated like a Human Being). The teachers Pretend they know how to deal with additional needs, i think they see it as a weakness if they say they dont. There needs to be more training and awareness for them. But first you need to push Tims G.P. to get him referred to CAMHS (If you havent already). If you have then you need to be getting on to the CAMHS teams back for some help and Support...Its a classic case of the authorities brushing it under the carpet, You need to be constantly ringing until they get fed up with you and leave there cumfy chairs to deal with it. I hope ive sort of helped. Good luck 

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